sAdLy cRiEd
 
thanks yun. for de picture card that u drew for me. thanks loads. reali thanks. i could see that it was reali filled with concern from u to me. that has reali moved me to tears.
thanks jas. ur little card of care n concern for me has reali touched me.
thanks jingjie. thanks for playing bball with me n ur efforts in cheering me up.
thanks sze. thanks jas. thanks kaiyi. thanks shaoxiong. thanks jacus. for playing bball with me. for making me happy. even if it's for a moment. for a second. for a minute. for an hour. i will appreciate de hapinness dat ur had brought me. ur even gave in to me so much. ur actions shows loads. i do treasure de frenship dat we had between each n every one of us.
to those ppl who had left msg in my tag-board. thanks for all u've said to me. touched is wat im feeling now. my frens are de ppl i noe certainly who will care for me. i reali wish to noe ur who. to have my frens supporting me. thanks loads. if ur dun wish to reveal. i wun mind. 
i love ya my frens. 

dreaded going home. dreaded having to face my mum. my dad. n everyone else in my family. it's so amazing dat i had managed to reach home. guess i must have been unlucky. presented with a result slip with such bad n lousy results. de worst one i had in my life. with 4 subjects failing. dat's enuff to give me a tremendous shock to last me for months. in addition i must have twisted my waist. it jus hurts so much. i went into my room quietly. placed my bag down. headed for the bathroom. i had a bath. de longest i had. i jus dread de next moment in which i stepped out of the toilet. my parents had reached home. i went bak to my room. packed my files. my dad had went out again. my auntie was at my hse. i was hesistant. my mum seems to be in a gud mood. doesn't feel like spoiling her mood. i jus spent my time in my room doing my hmk. hais. halfway thru i picked up my result slip n walked out. took a deep breath b4 telling my mum de shocking news. she was indeed shock. terribly shock. she shouted at me. crushed de paper. threw it down. n walked off. b4 she left. tears had aleli welled up in my eyes. her eyes. sparkling with tears too.i felt terrible. sadness n disappointment were scribbled all over my face. she walked off to her room n slammed de door. my heart jus fell. i dunoe how to react. i picked up my result slip n walk bak to my room. tis wasn't wat i had expected. it was worse than i had expected. i rather she slapped me. beat me. or wateva. jus so to vent her anger. but she din. she refused to sign. like always. my report bk has nv had any of her signature at all. one main reason. she jus dun wan to sign as de results are too lousy. do i feel sad. depressed. upset. disappointed. ? i dunoe. perhaps all. or maybe i was jus emotionless. she came to my room later on. her eyes swollen from all dat sobbing. me? probably still crying. i've forgotten. all i noe. all dat i remember frm her lecture. "u r stupid. i tot ar-qi was the only one in our family who cant study. i din noe u r too" i must have felt hurt. jus felt as if a knife was stabbed into my heart. my soul. i wish i could jus disperse rite at dat moment. or jus disappear with a flick of a magic wand. anytink will do. as long as i dun hear those hurtful words she uttered. "are u having a bf?" she asked me. no. she screamed at me. i dun have is all i can reply to her awful qns. her trust in me has long lost bcos of 1 specific incident. i jus dun wish to tok much. all i did. was cry. sob. n tear. i was speechless. she doesn't seem to blive when i said "i dun have". she doubted me. well. im more sensible now. guys to me. rite now. are jus frens. normal frens n dat's all. ive nv considered having a bf. ive told u b4. u dun blive me. u jus dun. u oppose to any of frens who r from tech stream. n look down on ppl frm normal stream. i have my own freedom of knowing frens. u are jus biased. biased agst them. all u care abt is. money. top results. i noe u have ur own difficulties. but i have my own difficulties too. cant u try to understand me. y cant we jus give n take. u r selfish in ur own ways. u r so hurtful. words u have said have maybe left a wound on me. a wound which probably could not heal. a wound which hurts so often. u say i was emotionless. say dat i was still not sad abt my results being so poor. but did i reali not feel sad? when i feel sad. u noe? when i cry. u noe? u dun at all. even if u see me in pain or crying in a corner. have u ever come over to say a word of concern to me? no. u dun. u will jus walk past me without saying anytink. y cant u jus show a little concern to me. i noe dat at times u do care for me. perhaps it's in the past. perhaps it isn't. but u r jus too harsh on me. the way u treat me is jus so indifferent frm the way u treat de rest of my siblings. i noe u r disappointed in my results. i noe dat. i do feel upset n disappointed too. i have my own feelings. jus spare a tot for me. cant u? i kept wanting to write a letter to u. but after de lesson i had last time. i decided not to. cos i noe u wun appreciate it at all. u r jus too face-conscious. ar-yi cares for me more than u. i noe u care too. but cant u put ur care into actions? izit jus too difficult for u? ar-yi even bothers to call me up n consoled me. she's so far the only relative dat at least shows sum care n concern for me. who can i head to if im in trouble? who can i confide in when im upset? who can i go to when i have problems? not u. surely not u. cos u wun be there for me. ya would most probably be the last person on my list if i do nid ppl to help or console or even confide in. isn't dat pathetic. my mum. maybe im jus over-reacting. or maybe jus too sensitive. nevertheless, all i nid of u is jus spare a tot for me. i noe wateva i had done wrong. i will work harder. i reali will. trust me. i will show it to u.
jo. tis is indeed de first consolation given me. first. i was reali moved to tears. thanks loads. actuali u r quite a nice sister at times. not the annoying irritating n terrible sista dat u have once been. reali thanks. u have perhaps grown to be more sensible. hais. tink tis prob will nv be resolved.

touched

i hate my family

wEi-JiE

100% sEnOritA
100% sEnOritA

crOss-cOuNtRy
crOSs-cOuNtRy

jAn.n.jAs
jAn.n.jAs

jAn.jAs.La.viAn.kAi.iSa
jAn.jAs.La.viAn.kAi.iSa

i wiSh i hOpE i dReAm

=_+

I Must Be...
I Must Be...

FrENz
FrENz

_aNgRy_
_aNgRy_
tMd. i had enuff of dat pig. today during eng lesson, she teaching n i was reali paying attention to her lo. den of cos when ppl teaching n toking de students will surely look at de trch de rite? same here too. i was looking at her n listening attentively. den suddenly her eyes found mine. n we stared into each other for a long while. i felt weird for sure. staring into the eyes of dat idiotc pig. but if eva i looked away surely she will say i wasnt paying any attention. so of cos i perserved. since she's on for the game. why not. so i stared at her bak. for wat seemed like eternity, she broke off the stare n told de whole class saying i wasnt paying attention. n dat i was jus staring into space. of cos i voiced out dat i was paying attention. but seems that my pleas came unheard. later on we got into our groups for oral practices. she den walked over to my group n told me off. she scolded weiling n sijie too. but all the time she was scolding she was looking at me straight as if pointing all the faults towards me. den she praised yun n qian. den say yun was doing a fantastic job syaing she's diligent n all. liew. pls lo. all she look for in a person is her grasp on de language n how she scored for her tests. dat's it. yun jus one person who's afraid of her n doesnt speak much during eng lesson. jus cos i spoke more n perhaps in a not so english style she blacklisted me. tis pig. u arent dat great afterall. always walk abt looking so snobbish. so wat if u r english educated. dat doesnt make u a saint k! mind it. u r jus another educated pig.
not only dat, after lunch time we had eng self study. liew. f*** it. damn fed up. eileen was asking me sumtink on the board n i replied bak n accidentally utter a few words of chinese. to her, chinese language is a taboo. but usually she will jus give a brief dressing-down. which was wat happen to shimin when she spoke chinese earlier on. kaoz. she hear me speak those words le. den she picked up my water bottle on my table, opened the cap n tried to pour water over me. of cos she din. i told myself as i kept pushing her hands off roughly. at first i was in quite a playing mood. tinking she was joking since she was smiling so slyly. afterall the whole class was practically convulsed in laughter. den francine added to de humourous scene by taking out her umbrella. funny aint it? but i doubt so. if u r playing with me. of cos surely i could take jokes. but i guess she has gone a little too far. f*** it. tmd. dat pig pulled the umbrella over me. n threatened to pour the water. kaox. little did i noe she reali did it. my anger boiled when i felt water trickling down my uniform onto my hand. instantaneously, i pushed the umbrella away n dat bitch's hand. the umbrella after being pushed away by me ended up in a position whereby the edge of it barely touched my hair. dat bitch must have been tickled by de whole tink dat she continues pouring water down de umbrella. tis time the water dripped onto my hair. cB. damn dulan. had enuff of her n her dumb jokes. jus pushed her hand away. tis time harder. she noe i was angry n caped my bottle placing my bottle on my table. F-U-C-K i said. she should have heard it. it was definitely loud enuff for her. i looked up as her gaze fell on me. i stared angrily at her. as she walked off i diao her rite b4 her eyes. she walked to de middle of the class n told de class dat "look at janice, she's so sad." "See! she's so sad now". after which she told the class to continue their work. francine kept consoling me. but i was reali mad. jade n eileen tried calming me down. but i jus couldnt. eileen even walked over to my table to tok to me. well, i broke into tears. why? where's yun n cass? n de rest of my frens? din utter a word of concern to me. francine jade n eileen. i weren't close to dem. dat's for sure. others must have tot dat i had cried out of embarrassment or even out of my anger. well. those aren't de reasons.

last but not least..
to the one who trifled with me tis noon. mrs lee is perhaps too courteous n graceful a name to call u with.
F U C K I T!

(o-.-)
(o-.-)
today play badminton during p.e so fun..=) gees..so nice to play lo. so sad when it ended. den went bak class for physics lessons so sianx lo. haix. more n more dun like her. dunoe y. to me she like so act. tryin my best not to dislike her. all the best to me. -_-" haix. den recess me cass n yun went eat noodle stall. only we 3 cos the rest got motivation workshop. seems so fun. i wan join oso. but cant. |sad| =x anyway bak to the noodle i bought. liew. the aunty added vinegar lo. den so yucks. cant finish it. too gross to eat. den i felt so full lo. cos i oso buy drinks n cant finish it too. n oso a slice of watermelon. dat's was the nicest tink ate for e recess le. gosh. dat's so heavenly to me compared to the yucky noodles. after dat we had chi lesson. lol. me, terrence[da ge], khoo si jie and rayner we play daidee. but in de end nv play le. n we ended up saying ghost stories. liew. so scary. den they keep scaring me n threaten me. got a few shocks lo. they so bully de. noe i scare still try to frighten me. haix. anyway we had a nice chat together. lol den after de chi lessons ended. rayner ask sijie n terrence pei him go toilet. lol he keep say he scare toilet ghost. haas so funny. he like so hum. kekes den weiling pei me go toilet. of cos i sacre la. they say so much tinks. lols but i at least better than de rayner still nid 2 bodyguards. haas.
poa lessons so sianx. i slept within de 1st few minutes of de lessons le. haas. but i reali did try to keep awake. but hard to. den when i finally start to stir n woke up a little but fell asleep again. tink it was eileen's voice who said "wa almost whole class slping leh" dat had woke me up. i turned to look at de whole class n realised dat more than hlaf de class was slping away lo. kekes. our class ar. reali slping pigs. kekes. den i closed my eyes when suddenly mdm yong shouted at adele n lim si jie to wake up. den scolded dem for slping in class n even punished them to stay in class till 4 with her. lols. kelian dem. cos so many ppl slping but only they 2 were caught. haas. mdm yong reali no eyes. lol she teaching will teach until beli engrossed de lo. den wun noe wat's happening oso. den when she asked ifrayner's slping. rayner den woke up frm his slp n kept say no he wasn't slping. haas so obvious he lying. but mdm yong blive. lols. mdm yong reali guilible.
during maths lesson today, cos i in band 2 den under mdm ee. den have to go music dance rm der. den saw those ppl having motivation workshop. seems to be so much fun. i wan join in too! =x den we enter the small rm n had our lessons. haas. guess wat? rayner is so nice lo. super duper nice leh. he lent me his jacket cos de rm beli cold n i sitting directly under de air-con. so gud lo he. later on mdm ee wanted us to hand up the maths wkst we did. liew. gosh. i hadn't finished it! liew. so jialat. abt 4 qns haben do yet lo. cos last nite do until slp ma. den she shuffled our papers n everyone took one to mark. lols. in the end i got a 7 or 9 lo. upon 20 ba. i tink. liew. so low. emaths leh. haix. dat's such a sad case. should have been more diligent n done it. =x
after dat. i n sum other classmates left de maths class as we have poa self study. lols. ended quite fast anyway. after tis i had dance practice. hui qi wor. u must get well soon leh. see u so sick. i so worry. if reali beli sick dun cum sch le lo. reali leh. must listen to ur da jie leh. =) get well soon wor ger-ger. takecare leh.
gees. still haben decide which song we want to dance for the couple dance. seems like twins-xia yi zhan tian hou song doesnt suit at all. anastasia-at the beginningsong is so much better. de perfect song lo. den tink i most prob use dat song but totally different steps. hmm..(o-.-)

frenship??
frenship??
during chi lessons, there wasnt a trch ard. den me n khoo sijie n jianting n rayner n terrrence okay daidee. losers out of cos. terrence belinice. he let me in to play. gud da ge. anyway yun n cass den join in later. guess we play quite noisily cos chairman n fran keep shouting at us. cant stand rayner he kept uttering words of vulgar. it's so irritating lo. n he said it so loud without embarrassment at all. he's sonot gentleman too. haix. den i reali cant stand him. i jus shouted at him lo. who tells him hurl vulgars at me when all i do was to give out de cards. n he says i was so slow n shouted me vulgars. tmd. he so wat lo. den the rest of the ppl jus try their best to stop our quarrel from errupting. i din mean to rebut him lo. but i reali had enuff of him. anyway since he din argue bak so i stopped. *peace out..

sorii to our chairman n fran. for making so much noise. sincere apologies*

after sch i went look mrs tan. den after went to foyer look for cass n yun.but they so long. haix. told dem i will be in a jiffy. but seems like they din blive. well. got fed up with waiting so i went toilet a while..come out liao still not der. reali sianx half. abt to go up find dem den i tink beli dumb so i stay der wait dem. den they cum liao we together walk. den as we walk past the canteen towards the side gate. we pass by shaoxiong they all. den they all started calling me n say bye bye. surely of cos i say bye bye bak. but den cass n yun jus started to walk off so fast. den keep toking to each other. as if i wasn't der. den later sidegate close we walk bak canteen to main gate. den meanwhile the 4ts were walking behind us. haix. i noe ur biased agst tech ppl but i guess. haix nvm. dun wanna say ur. i was obviously not happy. well. tink yun noe it. my expression jus changes as they jus walked off faster n faster. i tried to catch up not wanting to be left bhind once again. can see yun trying to leave a gap for me to fit in btw dem. but i dun feel like n not in de mood to do so. plus cant catch up. reach bustop le. they tok with qian weilign n sijie. i jus kept quiet n stand in a corner. i jus cant figure out y they r biased. they r jus a little bit more playful, more active. n perhaps not reali gud in their studies or not interested in studying. they seems to be branded as outcasts in sch too. by most of the trch even the students. if u r dem, how will i feel? i guess i will feel as if im being ostracised. nevertheless, to me i feel the 4ts are much of better frens to me. their frenship bonds are much greater. of which i admired loads. they are definitely a great bunch of ppl to me. perhaps maybe. im jus a playful ger. who tends to play rather than study. n thus i prefer their companion. but who cares. i dun care. n no one can make me care. i jus hope ppl be more caring n more FRIENDLY.. i dunoe how to express my words clearly. probably i was quite blunt. but dat's how i feel. of cos not entirely. sorri if ive offended u or wat so.. i guess if either of u read these u surely have loads of tinks to say. but have ur ever been in my shoes b4? anyway bak in the bus. i got up the bus le den yun n cass say dun take. but ive gone up. haix. gud tink they came up too.den no seats so gotta stand. moreover i have to stand amidst the 4ts. well, i of cos oki with it ma. but i tink cass n yun tink dat i feel like it's a *torture* or dat i hate being amidst dem or wat so. they ask me to sit down. but i din wan. cos ma fan to reach..moreover dun wan pang seh jasmine since she standing beside me ma. so both sat together. den i stand der. so kelian. me n jas were practically shivering lo. so damn cold der. with the aircon blowing straight. den we stand the other way. facing the 4ts. cos reali cant stand the cold lo. den they chatted with me. n so we all chatted. den jas oni der to luff.. keke. den reach compass le. obviously yun sudenly mood change. dunoe y oso. haix. she dun wan say when i ask. so suan le. dun wan probe either. or not she more fed up..

sze says i change my attitude towards her ever since... wondering wat? being better to u? being worse to u? ignore u or wat? i guess..all of it. i keep scold n nag u..n den later ignore u.(dunoe if u notice) n better to u..cos i noe if i treat u bad...u wun feel gud too..since so many ppl r agst u doing dat. i noe the feeling of having done sumtink in which everyone disagrees with. it's awful. isnt it? but there's no use nagging n scolding u. wat eva happened as happen. plus u said it. u regret it. well. anytink must tell us oki. even if dun wan tell me u still have other frens. u must reali takecare ger. *muaks* laogong..*xiang ni*.. gudnitex wor!

jas..u oso takecare. see u like so tired. overowrk urself like dat.hmm takecare wor.. miss u!

xian..cheerios!

ke.ai! tink less. dun so upset le! hmm..takecare leh. dun make frens worry for u! =) smiles..cheerios!

huiqi..get well soon leh. got fever le must rest more.. dun do too vigorous exercises. if ever u feel unwell doing sumtink. pls stop den. dun make us worry u le. no tears le. u will be alrite! miss u!

linhong..how u? fever wor..takcare of urself oki? da jie will xiang u de. rest more wor. drink loads of water oki. get well soon leh.

[xian]
[xian]
xian:
how u? noe u arent feeling too gud of cos. well. u stil have all ur frens. dun so upset le. dun let it affect wateva u r doing rite now. concentrate on ur studies. wheneva u nid ppl pei u. find me. i will surely try my best spare time for u even if im busy. ya one fren whom seems to be quite distant but when together we felt so close in hearts. one precious fren whom i'll surely treasure a lot. u mus takecare of urself. let me add to ur life, divide ur burden, subtract ur sadness n multiply ur happiness. =) smiles xian! life without u is meaningless. frens eva! miss ya so..

*nth.to.say
*nth.to.say
haix. i felt so left out. all my frens all in band 1 for maths. i felt so awkward. so upset. din expect my amaths results to turn out tis way either.. im reali upset. everytime i wan go sumwhere ask them pei me. they wun de thou i will pei dem when they wan to go anyplace. haix. dat day i was quite upset den i asked yun. she keep say dun wan. but i reali is wan tell her sumtink. suan le.

lunch i ask if they wan go down. both say no. say they wan do their own tinks. nvm den i went down myself tou tou qi. walk abt the sch. haix. later saw them came down. i jus felt a tinch of. dunoe how to express. my best frens arent reali wat i tot out to be. jus realised dat tink. tiswasnt the 1st time. it happened so many times too. eeps..i reali dunoe how to express my feelings.

mrs tan seems to kan bian me. dat time she insisted dat i was in band 3 for maths when i was in band 2. i felt a pain in my heart. maths? a subject dat i loved n had always excel in. dunoe wat has gone wrong with me to get such poor results. perhaps i deserve all the tinks dat im feeling unhappy abt, since my results are so poor. i cant blive it. jus cant blive it. tis tink has dealt me a heavy blow. i cant seem to be able to take it in the easy way. dun cum consoling me. i wun be consoled. haix. i still tot it was mrs tan who had helped me to be in band 2. but guess i was wrong. it could be mdm ee or mrs tang. but surely not mrs tan. if it was her, she wouldnt have insisted or tot i was in band 3. got me reali disappointed. do i reali deserve to be in band 3? haix.

[hApPiE.bdAy.rAynEr]
[hApPiE.bdAy.rAynEr]
rayner. happie bday wor. 16 yrs le pls be a little more mature leh. best wishes to u. work hard wor. jiayou leh. olevels tis yr. all the best wor. gampakteh! -frienseva-

|.jAs.qI.|
|.jAs.qI.|
jAs and qi..wat's wrong? care to say ma? see ur so sad. moreover still crying. gets me so worried. haix. nvm if ur dun wan say. jus wanna noe if ur r alrite n fine. pls takecare of urselves. takecare gers..

-uPsEt`wORriEd^
-uPsEt`wORriEd^
sZe:
got quite disappointed with ya. haix. blame it on myself for not seriously warning u. haix. dunoe wat to say le. reali hope dat it's not a bad tink. ya takecare wor. got any tink must tell me oki? i'll surely be der for u de. not dat im always agst wateva u r doing. jus dat wat u always do often get ur frens to be so worried for u. u noe not? keeping mum or not telling us abt it doesnt make us feel at ease. alrite? it jus makes us get more worried. can see u beli sad. but u kept sayin we dun understand u. y not u stand in our point of view n tink abt how we feel towards u? for sure we tink u r bottling up ur feelings. n having such weird n negative tots abt urself.come on. "when there's a will, there's a way" ger dun fret abt ur prob le. u have us as ur frens. we r added into ur life to divide ur burden, subtract ur sadness, multiply ur happiness. there's nv too late. reali. hmm. see! often my entries will be abt u. shouldnt u be touched? -_-" k ba. hope to see a sensible u. i'll always be a fren who's true n always der for u.

jiNgjiE:
ke.ai dun so depressed le. sad to see u like dat. haix. im jus afraid she might get a misunderstanding. dun get so upset le. dun eva do anytink foolish wor. dun tink so much le. ya must take gud care of urself. i will always support u in wateva decision u make. ill always be a fren who's always beside u when u nid me! =) smiles..

[-bbQ-]
[-bbQ-]
went to benny bday bbq..so few ppl go..haix..i went der with xian on my aunty car..den reach der le..got quite a no of ppl lo..but all baby bengs n lians de..cant stand dem smoking lo..they seems so horrid..haix..den later me n benny walk all the way so far to the 7-11 to buy charcoal n sum drinks...so kelian lo...cos the way beli far..haix..
den we returned bak to de bbq..hmm..den later chat with sze on benny hp...soon me n xian returned home...den the whole bunch of guys so gud...they pei us find de bustop..but half way all left except rongzhen n chinhao..as they wan to go home too..a bit sianx la..but still alrite ba..hmm..reach home..den so tired...tml have to go sch 8.30 pei my yisze laogong do her dnt..tired..gtg slp..nitex*

|heavy-hearted|
haix..felt so dull mood lately

[-left.with.nothing.more.to.say-]
b>[-left.with.nothing.more.to.say-]
ke.ai i will always blive u..

sze..i oso dunoe y suddenly u mention all those tinks. perhaps i was too harsh on ya. sorii for dat wor. haix. hope ya reali will tink it thru. ya a gud ger. a nice ger. dun be stubborn le. u dun do wat u tink or say de. haix. i wasnt in reali a nice mood today. apologies to wat i say. dunoe y jus feel so angered when u say not to lecture u. well,im not but since u take it. let it be den. i dun reali noe wats up with ya. cos at times u tend to close up to urself n no ones seems to noe wats wrong with ya. moreover u dun explain. dun get so upset over tinks ma. i was glad ya told me how ya felt abt urself. tis goes to show u tink maturely lo. hmm..its not meant to be sarcastic oki. mind you. but reali, i was glad abt it. hmm..quit smoking wor. regarding the tattoo let it be la. there's nth wrong with having a tattoo. i will wan to have one if i have the courage to endure the pain it takes. =) im serious wor. kekex. geex.. dun go use acid to disfigure ur arm lo. dun crazy la. ppl say u heck care ma. haax. i noe hard la. but try thou. oki? laogong wor..i noe u brave brave de wor. =)smiles wor..ur sprain wor. take gud care leh. rest more. dun hurt ur leg further. see u so much injury i heartache ar. lolx. pls takecare of urself leh. kekex. laogong, to me u are one of my greatest pals. u noe dat not? even if we dun often hang out with each other. but u r one de very few frens who noes when im upset n how to cheer me up. u r true to ya feelings too. dun belittle urself. ya a guai guai ger de. jus dun get into bad influence. quit smoking wor *_* muaKs! stay cheerios n sweet! *lotsoluv, laopo*

jas hubby, thanks so much wor. was reali glad. u r always der to brighten even the darkest days of my lives. reali u do. im reali glad to have ya as my greatest n bestest pal! to me ya understand me de best le. reali u do. i feel so at ease telling ya my probs n confiding in u cos i noe u will certainly help me out in wateva way u can. even if the whole world gave me up n ignore me, i noe u wun. u will surely stay by my side. =) i felt so touched. thanks for ya ppt. it made me teared. reali moved by it. thou we dun always go home together come sch together, but still i felt close to u at heart. even so we noe each other for abt 2 yrs, i felt ive noe ya foreva. reali thanks loads for being my dearest fren..muaKs!

*sad...disappointed in myself :(
*sad...disappointed in myself :(
haix...today my olevel chi oral. i felt dat it's so disappointing..haix. while i read de passage i keep stuttering lo haix. den when comes to converstaion...worse..the qns was "66% of the youngsters visit porno websites, wat do u tink abt it" -dunoe why i was jus stumped at the qns...den i replied dem say i feel shock abt it..den i say "because..." and i stopped der... aRh..den de judge keep ask becos wat..but i kept quiet cos tinking...i reali tink quite long plus the situation was so tense at dat moment..so i tink i uttered rubbish in a moment of folly.. damn gan chiong.. but the judges beli gud they keep nodding at me, trying to encourage me to go on...i was quite moved n so i carried on talking..but only little..and my vocab of words are so limited all of a sudden! my chi language is so poor too. my worst oral i ever had. haix. den the 2nd topic was like "wat do u tink of the pri n sec sch uniform? should we wear uniform?"..haix. i tok little on dat. overall my performance during the oral is so upsetting..so lousy. =( i reali quite upset lo. haix. anyway i return bak to class after dat n tried cheering up on the way bak. if not later yun sure an wei me. haix. after dat me sel n yun went kfc eat.. den after dat yun dunoe y nv tok.. she say she tired but i tink der's more ba.. den later we 3 took 161. gosh terrible. cos got tis grp of 3 malay guys beside where i standing. den they keep ka jiao me lo. make me so fed up. den kep tug on my bag n hand. eeKs..they r a bunch of irritating fools. sumore got one guy ask me sit with him. kaox. dey should be more self-conscious of themselves. sumre dress until so er-xin. cant stand dem. reach home le. i go slp. haix. cant stop tinkin abt my oral. hope it doesnt affect my mood for the next few days. but to tink of it reali upsetting lo. i din expect me to be so lousy. anyway sel cheered me up a little by letting me check my olevel listening ans. n i got a 19/20. quite glad abt it. but den. haix. oral gonna pull my marks down. -_-" nvm. tml i have p.e lesson den we playing badminton. kekex..hope dat cheers me up.

son.by.four - purest.of.pain
Son By Four - Purest Of Pain
I'm sorry I didn't mean to call
but I couldn't fight it
I guess I was weak and couldn't even hide it
and so I surrender just to hear your voice
I know how many times I said I'm gonna to live with out you
and maybe someone else is standing there beside you
but there's something baby that you need to know
that deep inside me I feel like I'm dying
I have to see you it's all that I'm asking.

Chorus:
Vida, give me back my fantasies
the courage that I need to live
the air that I breathe
carino mio, my world becomes so empty
my day's are so cold and lonely
and each night I taste
the purest of pain.

I wish I could tell you I'm feeling better every day
that it didn't hurt me when you walked away
but to tell you the truth I can't find my way
and deep inside me I feel like I'm dying
I have to see you it's all that I'm asking.

Repeat Chorus (2x)
Vida, give me back my fantasies
the courage that I need to live
the air that I breathe
I'm sorry I didn't mean to call
but I couldn't fight it
I guess I was weak and couldn't even hide it
and so I surrender just to hear your voice

smilEs =)
smilEs =)
..ns..dun angry or sad le wor..cheerios =)...smiles more oki? wanna see a happy u..perhaps got misunderstanding btw both of ur..take initiative if she doesn't lo...keke..=) takecare wor! =D nites! *frens.eva*

...=(
...=(
my ke.ai promise me not to smoke...but he broke his promsie today...felt so disappointed...but still...at least he admitted it to me...plus can see he damn upset...hmm..dun tink so much le ke.ai...dun so sad sad le oki..perhaps she's jus in a playing mood.....hmm cheerios for ke.ai!..smiles wor..see u sad i sad leh...takecare ke.ai

::..sianx..::
::..sianx..::
so much hmk..but i've been slacking the whole day..beli lazy to do dem...so lazy lo..sianx half..tml my chinese olevel oral le...wish myself all the best...all the best to me! =x

-_-"
-_-"
he msg n apologised le..tink forgive him suan le..haix..he's so sick..sent 7 fwd msg to my hp..den my hp kept ringing throughtout the nitex...den woke me up twice...pig him...but nvm..at least he apologised..hope he change for de gud..
ck:dun smoke le la u..not gud lo..haix..noe u so long noe dat u dun keep promises de..perhaps only to me or wat la..i oso dunoe..well..just hope u smoke less even if u dun wan to quit..but pls dun go ask my lao.gong or my ke.ai smoke with u..i will fan lian with u..=x

*^~kE.Ai+-|`]
*^~kE.Ai+-|`]
xD jingjie is my ke.ai! =D muAki..i oso his ke.ai...

[-kE.aI-wAnG-shUi-]

mY.hUbBy
mY.hUbBy
jasmine is my hubby! muAks! =)

|<-hUbBy`eVa->|

\.LaO.gONg./
\.LaO.gONg./
heex..
yisze is my laogong! geez..muaks!

x_|aOgOnG.beSt_x

.haix.
.haix.
today my olevel listening...quite difficult lo...haix...stress.

fed.up
fed.up
went out with jingjie n yuemin...supposedly la..den so surprised dat i saw sze cum oso...den sx came too...den we took a bus to kovan take pic...but during de bus trip jingjie kept so quiet..oso dunoe y...sze oso..but is cos they both beli tired ba...quite fun being with them...cos they all so jokers n fun-loving....den later ck came..everytink was fine lo...den jingjie beli gud...keep help me carry bag...kekex...gentleman wor..he's so nice lo..den after dat sze n ck both oso got help me...thanks wor..den we were jus talking n chit-chatting..den ck..kaoz..so fed up with him..dunoe wat's up with him..like so sarcastic..quite pissed off with him..den after dat i walk off go take mrt...i aleli quite mad le lo..almost teared..luckily nv...cos jingjie ran after me...say walk the other way nearer..den we all walk to the mrt station lo..and guess wat...ck smoked lo..in front of me...i hate smokers...i was shock..and quite pissed off...sze noe i angry..den she tried to cover my view but i pushed her hand off..sorii wor sze...tmd..who the hell will care abt him...sze..i not angry with him la..reali...jus pissed off with him smoking puffing in front of me...tmd..sumore de moment he cum liao den keep say me lo..pls lo..i have a limit to my patience de...it broke my patience level when he pissed me off under the shelter...freaK lo..dun mess with me anymore...broke ur promises n all..say wat u wun tease, bully or watsoeva...to hell lo..not as if ive done anytink wrong..tmd..forget abt it
shaoxiong beli funny..keep talking de...lol..it was him who keep try to make all of us to tok n not be so tired...lol..n he like so enthu n excited...kekex...he's nice indeed...
jingjie oso...kekex...thou he kept so quiet towards the end of the day...must be tired ba...guess ya quite unhappy with pat? or wat? hmm..i prefer u tok more..haax..more friendly..kekex..so happy we take photos oso..thanks loads for helpign me carry bag...kekex..u r so helpful..a great gentleman..=).smiles.
yuemin..lol..forst time go out with ya..find u so sexy..haax..kidding..but u reali be careful leh..get it?..if not later u at disadvantage..haax..=)
..sze thanks wor..jus wan say a big thank you to u..u made me smile when i was so pissed off...thanks for the concern n care that u showered me with..u r so great!oso thanks for helping me carry bag..u r nice! .muaks.