sAdLy cRiEd
 
thanks yun. for de picture card that u drew for me. thanks loads. reali thanks. i could see that it was reali filled with concern from u to me. that has reali moved me to tears.
thanks jas. ur little card of care n concern for me has reali touched me.
thanks jingjie. thanks for playing bball with me n ur efforts in cheering me up.
thanks sze. thanks jas. thanks kaiyi. thanks shaoxiong. thanks jacus. for playing bball with me. for making me happy. even if it's for a moment. for a second. for a minute. for an hour. i will appreciate de hapinness dat ur had brought me. ur even gave in to me so much. ur actions shows loads. i do treasure de frenship dat we had between each n every one of us.
to those ppl who had left msg in my tag-board. thanks for all u've said to me. touched is wat im feeling now. my frens are de ppl i noe certainly who will care for me. i reali wish to noe ur who. to have my frens supporting me. thanks loads. if ur dun wish to reveal. i wun mind. 
i love ya my frens. 

dreaded going home. dreaded having to face my mum. my dad. n everyone else in my family. it's so amazing dat i had managed to reach home. guess i must have been unlucky. presented with a result slip with such bad n lousy results. de worst one i had in my life. with 4 subjects failing. dat's enuff to give me a tremendous shock to last me for months. in addition i must have twisted my waist. it jus hurts so much. i went into my room quietly. placed my bag down. headed for the bathroom. i had a bath. de longest i had. i jus dread de next moment in which i stepped out of the toilet. my parents had reached home. i went bak to my room. packed my files. my dad had went out again. my auntie was at my hse. i was hesistant. my mum seems to be in a gud mood. doesn't feel like spoiling her mood. i jus spent my time in my room doing my hmk. hais. halfway thru i picked up my result slip n walked out. took a deep breath b4 telling my mum de shocking news. she was indeed shock. terribly shock. she shouted at me. crushed de paper. threw it down. n walked off. b4 she left. tears had aleli welled up in my eyes. her eyes. sparkling with tears too.i felt terrible. sadness n disappointment were scribbled all over my face. she walked off to her room n slammed de door. my heart jus fell. i dunoe how to react. i picked up my result slip n walk bak to my room. tis wasn't wat i had expected. it was worse than i had expected. i rather she slapped me. beat me. or wateva. jus so to vent her anger. but she din. she refused to sign. like always. my report bk has nv had any of her signature at all. one main reason. she jus dun wan to sign as de results are too lousy. do i feel sad. depressed. upset. disappointed. ? i dunoe. perhaps all. or maybe i was jus emotionless. she came to my room later on. her eyes swollen from all dat sobbing. me? probably still crying. i've forgotten. all i noe. all dat i remember frm her lecture. "u r stupid. i tot ar-qi was the only one in our family who cant study. i din noe u r too" i must have felt hurt. jus felt as if a knife was stabbed into my heart. my soul. i wish i could jus disperse rite at dat moment. or jus disappear with a flick of a magic wand. anytink will do. as long as i dun hear those hurtful words she uttered. "are u having a bf?" she asked me. no. she screamed at me. i dun have is all i can reply to her awful qns. her trust in me has long lost bcos of 1 specific incident. i jus dun wish to tok much. all i did. was cry. sob. n tear. i was speechless. she doesn't seem to blive when i said "i dun have". she doubted me. well. im more sensible now. guys to me. rite now. are jus frens. normal frens n dat's all. ive nv considered having a bf. ive told u b4. u dun blive me. u jus dun. u oppose to any of frens who r from tech stream. n look down on ppl frm normal stream. i have my own freedom of knowing frens. u are jus biased. biased agst them. all u care abt is. money. top results. i noe u have ur own difficulties. but i have my own difficulties too. cant u try to understand me. y cant we jus give n take. u r selfish in ur own ways. u r so hurtful. words u have said have maybe left a wound on me. a wound which probably could not heal. a wound which hurts so often. u say i was emotionless. say dat i was still not sad abt my results being so poor. but did i reali not feel sad? when i feel sad. u noe? when i cry. u noe? u dun at all. even if u see me in pain or crying in a corner. have u ever come over to say a word of concern to me? no. u dun. u will jus walk past me without saying anytink. y cant u jus show a little concern to me. i noe dat at times u do care for me. perhaps it's in the past. perhaps it isn't. but u r jus too harsh on me. the way u treat me is jus so indifferent frm the way u treat de rest of my siblings. i noe u r disappointed in my results. i noe dat. i do feel upset n disappointed too. i have my own feelings. jus spare a tot for me. cant u? i kept wanting to write a letter to u. but after de lesson i had last time. i decided not to. cos i noe u wun appreciate it at all. u r jus too face-conscious. ar-yi cares for me more than u. i noe u care too. but cant u put ur care into actions? izit jus too difficult for u? ar-yi even bothers to call me up n consoled me. she's so far the only relative dat at least shows sum care n concern for me. who can i head to if im in trouble? who can i confide in when im upset? who can i go to when i have problems? not u. surely not u. cos u wun be there for me. ya would most probably be the last person on my list if i do nid ppl to help or console or even confide in. isn't dat pathetic. my mum. maybe im jus over-reacting. or maybe jus too sensitive. nevertheless, all i nid of u is jus spare a tot for me. i noe wateva i had done wrong. i will work harder. i reali will. trust me. i will show it to u.
jo. tis is indeed de first consolation given me. first. i was reali moved to tears. thanks loads. actuali u r quite a nice sister at times. not the annoying irritating n terrible sista dat u have once been. reali thanks. u have perhaps grown to be more sensible. hais. tink tis prob will nv be resolved.