grandpa
grandpa
grandpa. .i will miss u dearly. so so much. takecare kkie. love. =) thou i wasn't der to take a last look. i hope u rmb me. as long as i will rmb u. ur memories will stay in me. for as long as eternity. thou i might play a minor role in ur life. i noe u care for me. reali miss u. takecare ar gong.

Hilary Duff - Why Not
Hilary Duff - Why Not
You think you're going no where [all left except char]
When you're walkin down the street [had a small chat]
Acting like you just don't care [den we saw him. .]
That life could be so sweet [perhaps i was a little shock]

Why you want to be like that? [but dat was jus all]
Is if theres nothing new [i dun feel my heart palpitating]
You're not foolin no one, [nor do i feel a glee in me]
You're not even foolin you [guess it's over]

So walk a little slower [not dat we even started]
And open up your eyes [but jus dat. .to me]
Sometimes it's so hard to see [he's changed]
The good things passing by [wateva has changed?]
There may never be a sign [his feelings?]
Flashing in the line [if it's jus abt 2 weeks ago]
Telling you to make your move [it wouldn't be like tis]
Or when the Time is right [he hasn't hurt me]

So... [thou i cant deny dat i do feel a little.]

Why Not...(why not) [i was wrong abt him. .]
Take a crazy chance [guys jus cant be trusted]
Why Not...(why not) [no one. not anyone.]
Do a crazy dance [tis shall be de last lesson learnt]

If you lose the moment [no more de soft-hearted me]
You might lose a lot [it's going to be a]
So... ["take-it-or-leave-it" attitude]
Why Not (why not) [sweet tok shall jus be de tink dat turns me off]
Why Not take a crazy chance? [jus ytd. .we chatted]
Why Not take a crazy chance? [make up abt de past?]

You always dress in yellow [forget abt it.]
When you want to dress in gold [an ominous feeling]
Instead of listening to your heart [loomed over me]
You do just what you're told [with jus de mere tot]
You keep waiting where you are [of wateva u had said]
But whatcha never know [could i trust u again?]
Lets just get into your car [should i blive in u?]
And go baby Go [i dun care wat reasons de 2 of them ]

So... [could have given me for de wrongs they did]

Why Not...(why not) [im not going to listen nor blive in it]
Take a crazy chance [once bitten twice shy]
Why Not...(why not) [moreover i had been bitten thrice]
Do a crazy dance [got a little too soft-hearted ytd. .]

If you lose the moment [shouldn't have done dat]
You might lose a lot [im jus afraid i repeat my mistake]
So... [i dread to have dat day approaching]
Why Not (why not) [y must my life be revolving round these 2 guys]

Ohhhhh, [aren't der better ppl. .]
I could be the one for you [ppl say i deserve better guys]
Ohhhhh ya, [but do i reali?]
Maybe yes, Maybe no [im not bothering over these tinks]
Ohhhhh, [jus dat each time i see them]
This could be the thing to do [memories gush into my mind]
What i'm sayin is you gotta let me know, ohh [i had to admit]

You'll never get to heaven [im a sentimental ger]
Or even to LA [.an emotional jan.]
If you don't believe there's a way [der's no way a word of]

Why Not... ["stop" can actually stop my mind frm tinking]
Take a soul from the sky [it jus cums so naturally]
Why Not... [if i could chose wat memories i can keep]
Spread your wings and fly [those memories with dem in]

It might take a little [will certainly be deleted off.]
And it might take a lot [but i cant do it.]
But... [i have no ability. no chance of doing it]
Why Not [. .hais. .]
Why Not [it was like everytink was oki]

Why Not...(why not) [but for no rhyme or reason]
Take a crazy chance [u ignored me.]
Why Not...(why not) [treated me as a stranger, maybe.]
Do a crazy dance [y de sudden change. .it's weird]

If you lose the moment [i dun like tis feeling of suspense]
You might lose a lot [im losing faith, losing confidence]
So... [dun expect a change frm me. my impression of u]
Why Not (why not) [has jus changed totally]

Why Not [indeed i blive n noe. .der r much better ppl out der.]

Mr Big - To Be With You
Mr Big - To Be With You
Hold on little girl [it has been a tearful day for me]
Show me what he's done to you [grandpa had passed away]
Stand up little girl [jus last nite]
A broken heart can't be that bad [dat fateful nite]
When it's through, it's through [tears jus poured]
Fate will twist the both of you [today i realised smt]
So come on baby come on over [it's not reali easy]
Let me be the one to show you [to bottle feelings in me]

I'm the one who wants to be with you [to put on a happy mask]
Deep inside I hope you feel it too [been to de funeral]
Waited on a line of greens and blues [de sight of him]
Just to be the next to be with you [lying so comfortably]

Build up your confidence [felt an ache in my heart]
So you can be on top for once [tears welled up again]
Wake up who cares about [i reali cant bear to lose my kin]
Little boys that talk too much [went to find frens]
I've seen it all go down [tot i could at least cheer up]
Your game of love was all rained out [but i din]
So come on baby, come on over [broke down. .]
Let me be the one to hold you [cried on yun shoulder]

I'm the one who wants to be with you [it wasn't anytink]
Deep inside I hope you feel it too [dat they had said]
Waited on a line of greens and blues [it was jus dat]
Just to be the next to be with you [i had decided to. .]

Why be alone when we can be together baby [face reality]
You can make my life worthwhile [hais. .it wasn't any fun]
And I can make you start to smile [not at all. .]

When it's through, it's through [it seem dat de moment]
Fate will twist the both of you [i cum. . de gers]
So come on baby come on over [seem to be uninterested]
Let me be the one to show you [only de guys r keen]

I'm the one who wants to be with you [in playing]
Deep inside I hope you feel it too [i smiled n luff along]
Waited on a line of greens and blues [thou it sounded fake]
Just to be the next to be with you [not dat i was trying to hide my feelings]
I'm the one who wants to be with you [jus dat it wasn't]
Deep inside I hope you feel it too [de rite time]
Waited on a line of greens and blues [to dampen their mood]
Just to be the next to be with you [sadly, i smiled]

Just to be the next to be with you [feeling disappointed, i left with dem. .as they headed home]

above aLL
above aLL
thanks kevin for de cyndi poster he gave me. kekes. thanks jas for her chos n cyndi photos. thanks wor.
guoqiang. dun do any of such tinks le wor. =p kekes. takecares too.
jianjie. thanks wor =)
hmm. jian jie n benny are reali nice. they r forgiving too. thanks wor. =) dun put dat nick. so nan ting lo. .hmm. hope everytink will be fine. but it doesn't seem quite to be.
ke-ai. no matter wat. i will blive ya. unless u lied to me. which i hope not. i will surely stand by u de. u asked me y i treat u so well. =)smiles. well dat's cos u treated me well too. how could i begets kindness with unkindness. to me. u r a nice n frendly person. no matter wat wrongs u have done in de past. .as long u cared for a change. nth beats better than having de determination to start refresh. nvm abt wat others tinks. wat matter most is how ur true frens tink of u. pick urself up after a fall. remain steady n all. dun lose hope or watsoeva. dun be so moody too. keep smiling yea? look on de brighter side of life even when u r enveloped in a world of emptiness - a world filled with darkness. for bcos. even in de darkest corner u will surely find a beam of light dat could lead u out of dat place. there's always a rainbow after a rain. treat wateva dat has happened as a rain storm den. after it has blown over. tinks will be alrite. =) dun forget. i wil be by u. =) takecares. n gud luck ba. =p

prelims
prelims
got bak most of my results le. hmm. had a1 for amaths n emaths. a2 for chi! so glad. better than my olevels by a grade. den i had a b4 for eng. rather saddening. cos din finsh my compo. so did terrible for dat. had a b3 for my humanities. =) finally improve so much for it lo. or not usually got d7 or lower de. kekes. thanks ms wendy tan n ms ng lee hwa. =p den had a c5 for poa! gosh. so jialat lo. mdm yong even cared for me say y i do so badly when i suppose to get distinction. den say i was suppose to be same standard as shiyun. den she wan me buck up n say if i wan she will privaate tutor me. hais. hear liao i reali cry bucketfuls de day b4 ytd. damn upset with it. but den de next day i got better. =x got over it. no use crying over spilt milk. jus have to work doubly hard now. =) guess wat. rite now my L1R4 is 11 points! quite glad abt it but still a little disappointed. cos i wan to aim for below 10 points de. haben get bak sci yet. hope i wun do so badly. overall oni one failure. but dunoe who it is. den most had b3 and a few had a2. how i wish i had a2!. . hope lo. but i wun mind a b3 either. but i will certainly mind if i got more than b3. .hais. cos i tink i reali did my best tis time round in midst of my fever de day i took my exams lo. hoping so much. =x tink i most prob going meridian jc for 3 mth jc. dun have much of a choice ma. i was like aiming for aJc. but cant enter with my prelims. =x nvm. olevels. must jiayou le.
today din have much of an eng lesson. cos mrs lee came in with a rather bad mood aleli. n she shouted n screamed at us for not handing in hmk. piangz. is she give so many lo. who de hell can finish it. dumb pig. she's so terribly unreasonable. bTh. den she flared up n threw all de wks at de whole class. n i reali do mean she threw it. any o how. luckily de papers din cut any of us. otherwise i shall get her to pay for it lo. the papers jus flutter abt everywhere in our class. den she rush out of our classrm angrily. n i guess she cried too. hur. but she herself is too much lo. den after she left our whole class like so united like dat. automatic stand up n pick up all de wks. den altogether we packed them into de different stacks and give dem out to de whole class. all of us were either luffing away or toking away. none of us caring abt whether to apologise to her not. but who cares. she even said she's not gonna moderate our marks for our eng results. so suxs lo. den later in de noon wilson came to tell us abt our eng marks. it reali was not being moderated. i mean de marks dat we asked her to give us were not changed in dat class list lo. piangz. so play cheat. wat a bitch lo. suxs. do a compo oso must do until so xin ku. still must circle de vocab, underline or highlight de subordianting clauses, complex sentences. even verbs adjectives and de language features. reali bei ta han her lo. .=X hais. wat a trch.

piCs
piCs

took pics ytd with yun n sel. oso took with fran jade grace n kaiyi. den oso took pics with kaiyi jingjie ck n jas last fri. =p nice ba. miss all frens. how i wish there was no graduation. =x

Emilia - Big Big World
Emilia - Big Big World
I'm a big big girl[y does my heart soften]
in a big big world[for jus a "sorry" frm u]
It's not a big big thing if you leave me[for de smiles u flashed me]
but I do do feel that[for de sweet stuff u said]
I do do will miss you much[jus a pack of lies, aren't they?]
miss you much...[u r bad. .real bad.]

I can see the first leaf falling[hais. y must tinks]
it's all yellow and nice[turn out tis way?]
It's so very cold outside[im feeling so crushed]
like the way I'm feeling inside[as if so many tinks]

I'm a big big girl[so so many tinks r weighing me down]
in a big big world[sze. u r one of de most trusted frens]
It's not a big big thing if you leave me[n even de nicest fren i hv]
but I do do feel that[dun doubt urself]
I do do will miss you much[jas. u r trusty n jus so wonderful]
miss you much...[de outstanding junior of mine]

Outside it's now raining[u taught me tis]
and tears are falling from my eyes[*the mind leads by reason]
why did it have to happen[but the heart follows by love*]
why did it all have to end[do tinks according to how u feel]

I'm a big big girl[u'll feel better dat way]
in a big big world[u keep telling me to smile]
It's not a big big thing if you leave me[wat abt u den]
but I do do feel that[u gotta cheer up kkie]
I do do will miss you much[ur da jie here will be by u]
miss you much...[esp when u nid me. .jus ask for me]

I have your arms around me warmmm like fire[i jus broke down]
but when I open my eyes[hais. .kept tinking n tinking]
you're gone...[during recess my tears jus flowed]

I'm a big big girl[while i was doing my work]
in a big big world[the hurt i felt - the sadness i felt]
It's not a big big thing if you leave me[those are jus unspoken]
but I do do feel that[cant descibe it much as i wan to]
I do do will miss you much[the feeling was jus too overwhelming]
miss you much...[every little tink adds up to a big one]

I'm a big big girl[benny. stay happy. dun tink much le.]
in a big big world[mdm yong. i wun disappoint u.]
It's not a big big thing if you leave me[diary. i nid u by me]
but I do feel I will miss you much[*i dun miss him]
miss you much...[i miss who i thought he is*]

Avril Lavigne - Falling Down
Avril Lavigne - Falling Down
If fears what makes us decide, i hate my family
Our future journey, - - - - - - - -
I'm not along for the ride, diary. .
Cuz I'm still yearning, i feel so down rite now
To try and touch the sun, as if my heart was in shatters
My fingers burning, tinks are weighing me down so much
Before you're old you are young, it ain't like in de past
Yeah I'm still learning. why? why has it turned out tis way?

I am falling down, dun tinks u deem fit den
Try and stop me, im not going to care
It feels so good to hit the ground, if dat's wat u wan
You can watch me, i'll be alrite
Fall right on my face, at least i'll soon be alrite
It's an uphill human race, as time passes by.
and I am falling down. one tink down yet another.

I'm standing out in the street, i must be tinking
The earth is moving, tinking way too hard
I feel it under my feet, too complex
And I'm still proving, you gave me hope
That I can stand my ground, gave me joy
And my feet are there, haven't washed my hair. gave me smiles
Too be lost before you are found, n gave me disappointment too
Don't mean you are losing. brought me happiness

I am falling down, brought me fun
Try and stop me, n brought me tears too
It feels so good to hit the ground, u r so nice.
You can watch me, dun u?
Fall right on my face, tis is de 2nd time
It's an uphill human race, u r treating me like tis
and I am falling down. i will nv allow a 3rd

Some day I'll live in a house. i dislike u
Etc., etc., etc. but deep down.
But you know that's not for now. i dun
and for now I'm falling. hais.
down...down...down..., how i wish
down...down...down, dat u are not u
down...down...down, wat a weird statement to say
Yeah e Yeah..Yeah e Yeah, felt as if needles had poked rite thru

I am falling down, it's not easy for us to be frens
Try and stop me, dun say u not fit to be
It feels so good to hit the ground, dat's a cruel word for me
You can watch me, u noe u aren't wat u make up to be
Fall right on my face, dun worry so much
It's an uphill human race, cos wateva happens
and I am falling down. u have ur frens to stand by u

I'm falling down, even if de day cums
I'm falling down..I'm falling down... u find a better fren than me
I'm falling.... dun forget me oki
Feels so good to hit the ground... once friens
I am falling. forever frens. .

f*** oFf u bitCh! how despicable can u get. using such underhand methods to get a hold over me. no use. i wun let u get it. so wat if u cums frm st nich. i dun tink it's dat reali great. jus a bunch of stuck-up gers cum bitches cum even botches. ppl jus like ya is a fine e.g of an "outstanding" st nich ger hur. de teachers r so wonderful to have inculcate such immoral values in u. wat a reali pleasant sch hur. *claps for ya* stop boasting abt ur sch in front of me. stop flaunting ur A* at me. i dun give a damn abt it. who cares for it. i like my sch. i love it. at least it's so much normal than dat of ur arrogant sch!. tis is my sis? hur. i guess my mum must have carried de wrong baby when she was discharged frm de hospital. ur genes so diff frm us. with a lumpy body. twice as each individual child. n yet dares to show off ur dat watermelon-like-figure to me. oH pls. dat's certainly not de type of figure any other girls will wan. go ahead n tell mum i have a bf. i hate being threaten so stop it. i will not give in to u. my conscious is clear. n i have NO BF! so wat if mum doesn't blive. i doubt she ain't dat dumb to take in all those play acts of filial piety of urs. u r such a hypocrite! hated u? well. dat's too light a word. ever heard of sheep in a wolf's clothing. haas. a fine example. a role model. yea. dat's rite. my sis. wonder if anyone has ever told u dat u r fat ugly disgusting n fake?i doubt so yea. cos of the saying dat goes, "birds of de same feathers flock together". wat de hell u tink u r doing? sneaking up on me. stealing bits of my stuff. messing ard my precious.. indulging in my secret box. n all. brat. bitch. slut. im tinking too little of u. always acting as if u r all-mighty, de cleverest of all. hey. u failed ur maths b4. stop saying how clever ur sch is n how lousy my sch is. how wonderful ur sch is n how not wonderful my sch is. im not as childish as u. i'm certainly not game for it. me 16. n u 14. noe anytink abt manners? i dun tink so. y not jus take in a bit of advice n be more respectful to ppl of higher seniority. u have absolutely no respect. bak in sch i guess it's different. a true hypocrite dat is. hur. guess wat?. game over. n im gonna pit myself agst u. no way will i lose out. jus beware when retribution falls on u. practically wished u were better off dead. with u sneaking ard my stuff like a dirty rat. despo till u can even put ur hp no in frenster. oh pls. take a look at urself. gosh. let me tell u a tip or 2 den. guys these days tok more abt looks den character. so tidy up urself, go on a diet to lose sum fats of urs. n dat character or urs. hur~ hopeless is a word i can say. dun act as if u r in de trend. goodness. those stuff u bought. those stuff u do. it jus makes ppl puke. turns ppl off. they r jus way out of fashion. but i dun reali blame u for de lack of fashion sense. but i pity u instead. tried to imitate me? well. it doesn't suit u at all. forget it. u r jus a hypocrite. dat's wat ppl hate most. i dun care if i'm sarcastic or watsoeva. u started it. so u deserve every little bit of it. wanna act tough rite? carry on with it. i have my ways in dealing with dat. so F*** OFF bitch!

todAy. .
todAy. .
today woke up real late. kendrick din give me morning call. guess he forget. rushed to de bustop den met yun. den we together go sch. den today pc lesson. mrs tan revealed our emaths paper 1 marks. gosh i did reali bad lo. hais. still rmb one mistake was like forget join a line. another was 8-3=6. another was i forget to add a zero behind. gosh. all in all. jus loads of mistakes. felt rather disappointed. jus wasn't in a gud mood. den initially i oso tot sumone pon sch again ma.
anyway after dat pc lesson we had p.e. was playing softball. could see dat yun was quite upset. hais. din enjoy p.e at all. we played softball. but dat game was being modified into using a reali soft ball n has got to kick it. tried to participate in de game thou. hmm. in de end sort of enjoyed it. cos i managed to xiang kai. maybe my paper aint dat bad after all. =p cheers for me. later on recess time met kaiyi. chatted a while den i went to join yun they all. yun got cheered up after de p.e lesons.
after recess went bak class den zhang laoshi was in der. he told us ghost stories again. kekes. he's cute. rayner off de lights n zhang laoshi started de story. quite interesting initially. den amidst his story-telling i receive a msg frm kaiyi. well. dat cheered me up thou. =) so glad abt wat she has told me. den later i slept. so tired lo. when i woke up jus nice de lesson ends. n it was poa!. din get bak any tink. but she revealed to us dat yun sihui jT n linnette got distinction. congrats to dem. after dat yun was so happy. well. i jus got more disappointed. cos i was so afraid i might fail poa. hais. i reali suffered a great fall since mock. .gosh. i wonder how to keep my emotions stable during olevels. wat if de same tink dat happened during mock happen to me again during olevels? i will surely be a goner le la. hais. sianz. de more i tink de more worried i got. so much so dat i din reali tok much. suddenly seeing ppl toking so much n so happy turns me off. gosh. dat's so weird of me. hais. so i left de class n walk abt den oso found xian to retrun sum tink to her. after dat xian n sel pei me bak to class.
maths lessons le. mrs tan returned de emaths paper 2 bak to us. i got a 88%. . well. dat paper2 managed to pull up my total score for emaths to a total score of 83 %. hmm. quite alrite ba. when i receive my paper i was like quite shock. din exactly expect it. den suddenly grace called me n i turned. de smile she flashed me jus makes me feel so at ease n encouraged. i was like abt to tear. =x. dunoe y. jus feel so touched at dat incredible moment. tahnks loads grace/ =)but dat 88% doesn't seem to be a confirmed a1. cos nid at least a 88% den can. according to mrs tan. =x. so i gotta work harder. dat results did a bit in cheering me up. but aiya. dunoe. dat sense of disappointment jus lingers in me. cant get rid of dat weird feeling. after sch met up with kaiyi n she came to my hse. along de way out of sch, met sumone. after waving gudbye we left le.
at my hse. kaiyi played with my com while i studied chi. not exactly study. cos i dozed off. den after 6.30 plus den woke up. kaiyi tried several times to wake me up. but was sort of to no avail. tired.
jingjie. cheerios. dun be so upset. hmm. n-levels more impt. study hard kkie.must jiayou. other stuff u can leave it aside still =) must takecare.
hmm. tml having sci practicals. i will be in de 1st shift. wat luck!. gotta be lock in de hall till 1 p.m before we can be let off. hais. de 2nd shift is at 9 i tink n 3rd shift at 11. piangz. i wan at 3rd shift lo. reali is sianx half. =x diary. wish me luck ba. hais. oh mine. lights out. slp tites. muaks.

siAnz
siAnz
piangz. mdm ng nv help de sec 4Es to buy de proficiency badges lo. sianz half. say wat we going to grad le. but den i cuming bak leh. haas. den she say cos i going otC course. but i haben yet agree sia. haas. nvm. tot i could have de badges for memories of sjab ma. =x sad sia. hmm. tis sat is champions day. going der to take service award. =x. haas. actually din service much to sjab oso. lols. still got siyong hawa gen n adrian taking de award. wat a pity isa n marya din get. =x after dat going for sjab activity. sock ask me go de. haas. she tell me go der scold ppl. =p lols.
today had lessons in 4e6. quite like dat atmosphere der. lols. we end sch at 1.30. cos mrs lee cancel our self-study. after dat i went canteen n saw vian. den later on kaiyi came. jas n vian den went to get de cake. n kaiyi pei me go walk walk. n oso went to see soccer match. but den a bit paiseh go der ma. so we stay at outside de toilet near de bball court der. den sit der chat chat. den suddenly i saw eric walk to boys toilet. seems to be crying. got a shock lo. cos seldom see guys cry de. den suddenly feel so sad sia. den later dat steff n alice (oh gosh. eeWs.) dey entered de boys toilet lo. piangz. den can hear eric shouting at dem to get out. hais. shaoxiong like at a lost of wat to do. cos he has to worry for his fren n oso worry for de fact dat der's not enuff players on his team to play de match. . but in de end he went to kick de match when jianjie came. den match started. n me n kaiyi we went go see. dey oni got 7 ppl whereas de other team got 11 lo. they lost 2 to 5. den later heavy rain. den i n kaiyi went into shelter den go celebrate qi's bday. happy birthday to u wor. =) may ya stay happy n cheerful. =p den we sand songs n ate cake. den later i smash a piece of cake on her face. jas folowed suit too. kekes. den stella was like kept following qi to take her photos. lols. den stella funny lo. qi suddenly smash a piece of cake on her too. kekes. she's blur blur. kekes. concentrate on her photo-taking oni. haas. later on we cleared up de place. cant finish de cake. so big piece. threw de leftovers. later on we hang ard de field der see match for a while longer then go home le.
i dun care if u r de same or not. all i noe is my care shall always be der. no matter how u disappoint me. u noe it. i noe it. but it's up to ur choice to do it or not. hmm. . =) muaks la. frens.eva. =p

hApPy ? ? ?
hApPy ? ? ?
monday again. . hais. today wasn't in de mood to study at all lo. i guess everyone else shares de same sentiment. got bak my amaths paper today. osh. =x paper 1 delievered a shock to me. got a c5 grade for my paper 1 lo. piangz. hais. i was like -. jus so disappointed. tinking dat i must have not done well. den gave bak paper 2. i got an a1 for dat. but dat a1 wasn't high enuff to pull my total grade to an a1. wasn't reali disappointed. cos i studied hard for amaths. for all maths. maybe others might say i study not hard enuff. well. at least i studied sufficiently. but. guess my maths has sort of deprove. moreover. i haven't yet got over de fact i failed my amaths mock de other time. dat's de worst tink in my entire life up till today. so de 72% i got for my amaths tis time round is actually quite a big feat. a remarkable one for me. quite a wonderful achievement. perhaps im trying to console myself ba. but i got to. otherwise later i get so upset over. =x. hais. fran kept consoling me cos she noe i was quite upset. hais. nvm. i noe i can work doubly hard. even thou there's moderation which in turns cost me to get an A1 grade for my amaths. i feel dat. well. i better had grade myself without moderation. in tis way. it can spur me on to aim 88% for an a1. eWw. . hais. stressed up.
mrs tan today after sch. asked me to go to a corner as she wans to tok to me. but not exactly to a corner. cos yun n cass were der eavesdropping. =x. she den tell me she's glad abt my results. happy for me. n tel me dat i nid to maintain my present state of emotions. as i tend to be emotional which in turns affects my exams. =x. dat's so terrible. gotta stay happy n hyper these days till olevels end. i'm so afraid abt it. how in de world could i control my emotions?. . hais. den she tok till i almost teared. not cos im disappointed with my results. it was bcos. at dat moment. after hearing wat she said. i felt reali glad. as if de heavy 10-ton load has jus been lifted off me. as if de long-forgotten rainbow has jus appeared in de sky of mine. jus felt real touched. den yun whispered to cass that im abt to cry. =x so i din cry k. gosh. diary. im reali glad. but at de same time amidst my relief i felt a pinch of sadness. =x. nvm. hope dat tinks wun get worse. i dun wish to be depressed at tis moment of time.
diary . . . i got to band 1A for amaths. it's great being in dat band since yun n cas r in it too. but personally. i dun wish to be in dat band. not dat der's anytink wrong with it. jus dat. being in dat band gets me more stressed up. n real stressed up. i prefer bein in mdm ee class. less stress. not bcos de pace over der is slower or watsoeva. but she tends not to be stressful in her teaching. but i feel in mrs tan class. it's like taking exams each lesson. so scary. can feel de tension in de class. gonna make all my trch a card each to reali thank dem for their efforts put in teaching us. after my olevels den. chi prelium tis fri. =x. 2 months past without touching on chi at all. =x. jus started studying few days bak. could recapped actually. but nidda practise more.
hais. . haben get bak de other results. gotta worry lo. i wish i wouldn't fail any others. =x. cos. . hais. seems dat chem has been done badly. mr tan says de. dat reali dampen my mood. =x. my chem hasn't been at all dat powerful. i tried to understand as much as i can le. plus take exam dat day i suay suay sick. =x hope my marks oso not dat suay. aiyo. today like nth to be happy abt.
sel dun brood over it. i noe u r trying to maintain ur positive self. keep it up. muaks! mummy! miss ya! =)
weijie. work harder wor. =) stop going online so often le leh. spend de time on studying.
cass. start study chi le wor. =) jiayou. muz aim for a1 now le.
fran. hmm i doubt u will be reading tis. anyway. dun let those stuff get in de way of ur studying. it saddens me to see ya so upset almost everyday. i noe it's quite difficult not to feel dat way. well. leave those tinks until olevels. u still do have nice caring wonderful frens dat care for u wor. *ahEm =p
hmm. nites. - i guess either it's impossible for us. or dat u probably dun bother abt it. no use trying to salvage it. dun understand wat ya tinking of at times. suan le -

Kelly Clarkson - Break Away
Kelly Clarkson - Break Away
Grew up in a small town, [betrayed? too strong a word.]
And when the rain would fall down, [upset? disappointed?]
I'd just stare out my window. [much worse than dat.]
Dreaming of what could be, [it suddenly bcame clear to me]
And if I'd end up happy, [u can trust no one]
I would pray. [except u urself]

Try not to reach out, [how long do i nid]
But when I tried to speak out, [to noe a true fren?]
Felt like no-one could hear me. [perhaps a great fren is jus enuff]
Wanted to belong here, [it makes me understand dat cos i noe]
But something felt so wrong here. [be it 1 life-time. .]
So I'd pray, [or even 2 life-times]
I could break away. [i wun be able to get a 100% true fren]

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly, [time passes fast]
I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky, [so do u]
And I'll make a wish, take a chance, [changes happens]
Make a change, and break away. [de feeling was terrible]
Out of the darkness and into the sun, [old frens?]
But I won't forget all the ones that I love. [new frens?]
I'll take a risk, take a chance, [u seems to shun me]
Make a change, and break away. [brought ya to a wider circle]

Wanna feel the warm breeze, [but u sided more towards them]
Sleep under a palm tree, [wat am i to u den?]
Feel the rush of the ocean, [am i de horrid one?]
Get onboard a fast train, [or am i de bad one?]
Travel on a jetplane, [i can gladly say N-O]
Faraway, and break away. [no]

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly, [sadness. .]
I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky, [jus fills me]
And I'll make a wish, take a chance, [when i realise]
Make a change, and break away. [wateva u seem to be getting at]
Out of the darkness and into the sun, [i dun understand]
I won't forget all the ones that I love. [n will nv understand]
I've gotta take a risk, take a chance, [wat's all abt]
Make a change, and break away. [not gonna bother]

Buildings with a 100 floors, [maybe i might be de cause]
Swinging aroundrevolving doors, [maybe i'm not]
Maybe I don't know where they'll take me. [jus so hope]
But I gotta keep moving on moving on, [nth of such]
Fly away, break away. [will gonna be happening]

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly, [it's terrible]
Tho its not easy to tell you goodbye. [i can tell u]
Gotta take a risk, take a chance, [how much hurt i felt]
Make a change, and break away. [i meant not only u]
Out of the darkness and into the sun, [there's others]
But I won't forget the place I come from. [promises. .]
I've gotta take a risk, take a chance, [are meant unbroken]
Make a change, and break away. [aren't they?]
Break away, break away [or are they?]

i jus felt as if a 10-ton weightload has jus fallen into de pit of my heart. disppointed? i guess it might be more than that. dat feeling is jus indescribable. got a shock. a fright perhaps. if i hadn't mentioned. i guess i might still be kept in de dark till ages later. hais. speechless. i dun tink ya a failure so dun say u r one. cos if u r. i guess there's many worst failures out der in de streets at tis moment. dun wish to continue on.

Quan Ming Ou Xiang
Quan Ming Ou Xiang
ytd went to mum's shop der to help out. so tiring. hais. den later at nites i watch de channel U show on "Quan Ming Ou Xiang". beli nice lo. de contestants were all performing their individual performances. den ms beh was dancing with dem. she's involved in almost all de dances. kekes. she's so pretty lo. so cool n nice in those outfits. n her dance. super nice. beli lihai leh. i reali wan learn to be her lo. haas. dream on sia. i tink no. 8 Charissa beli ke xi lo. got kick out in de 2nd round of de wushu performance. i tink she beli gud lo. 1st round she sang "cappucino". n she sang it so well. jus dat she kept pulling onto her top. as it kept dropping. almost zou guang. but nevertheless. she did pretty well lo. wat a pity she got kick out. she can be de champs sia. but nvm. she oso won de "ren qi jiang". gud for her. =) den no. 2 Kate beli pretty looking. sweet sweet de. her 1st round not bad lo. she sang a sad song. n acted a little. not bad lo. she look so into de performance. but her wushu performance wasn't dat nice. but nevertheless. she tried her best. she's great. den Jeremy. forget he wat no. i got a shock when he was kick out of round 2. cos i tink he beli gud lo. his wushu oso not bad de. den when he was kick out he said dat he might have gotten ick out cos of his looks.. i hear liao almost cry sia. like beli touching lo. den i see kate like she almost cry oso. hais. sad for them oso. but i blive they have other dreams. jiayou wor. den no. 9 Bengamin was fantastic. his hip hop dance was reali cool. n fantastic. ms beh was in it too. wa. dat guy can reali dance. wish i could learn his dance steps. so cool lo. he look handsum n cute. n guess wat he was de champion!. well. i tink no. 10 de Agnes can be a better champ. i tink she's done reall gud lo. so sad. she din get it. but still no 9 oso not bad lo. hmm agnes was singing tis eng song n had a special dance to go along. it was quite a special performance. the dancers wore hats n held onto walking sticks. ms beh was in dat dance too. kekes. de outfits were sort of sexy. but they all look so nice n dainty. n agnes reali did well lo. den her wushu performance oso not bad. den de last round was on her interviewing skills. hmm. i can say she's not bad in dat too. but too bad. de judges doesn't seem to take a liking in it. nvm. she can shine de. given sum other opportunities. as for no 12 Catherine. she oso not bad ba. her 1st round was so ke xi. her mike dropped out n throughout de whole performance she has to hold on to her mike. n missed out on her dance steps n all dat she had practised for so long. beli sad. ms beh n another dancer were dancing away. while she has to hold on to de mike n sing n walk abt. she cant do much as she has to hold onto de mike. hais. cant see her dance. but i tink she handled de situation rather well. her second round of wushu performance she did pretty well. n last round. de interview part. hmm. oso quite gud. i tink she n Agnes both did better than Benjamin. but dunoe wat's going on in de judges mind. haas. nvm. de contest is over le. hmm quite a nice show. lols.
sianz. now alone at home with my maid. whole family went out. left me at home. hais. suan le. later i wanna put up those glow-in-the-dark stars up on my room. gotta go do hmk le. kisses n misses.

Kate. de sweet looking ger. =)
Jeremy. de guy whom i tink did well. but got kick out in de 2nd round. =x
Charissa. de ger who did beli well. but wasn't liked by de judges ba. won "Ren Qi Jiang" =)
Catherine. de ger who did pretty well. n who had dropped her mike during de 1st round of performance.
Bengamin. de champion of tis contest. gud-looking but in tis pic not reali.
Agnes. de ger who i xing shang a lot. but din get de champs. well. she's reali gud. n she's pretty but in tis pic not reali. =)

lOvE tESt
lOvE tESt

You are walking to your boyfriend/girlfriend's house. There are two roads to get there. One is a straight path which takes you there quickly, but is very plain and boring. The other is curvy and full of wonderful sights on the way, but takes quite a while to reach your loved one's house.
WHICH PATH DO YOU CHOOSE? Short or long?
-> long ba. can slowly walk n gaze at de sights. more interesting.

On the way, you see two rose bushes. One is full of white roses. One is full of red roses. You decide to pick 20 roses for your boyfriend/girlfriend.
WHAT COLOR COMBINATION DO YOU CHOOSE? (Any combination including all one color is fine.)
-> 18 red 2 white ba. den put de 2 white roses amidst all de red ones. representing we two. =p should look quite nice. kekes.

You finally get to your boyfriend/girlfriend's house. You ring the bell and the maid answers. You can ask the maid to please get your loved one, or you may go get them yourself.
WHICH ACTION DO YOU TAKE? Ask the maid or do it yourself?
-> of cos do it myself. my guy leh. oso not de maid's guy. sumore should be shou enuff to treat his hse as mine le ba. =x.

Now, you go up to your girlfriend/boyfriends room. No one is there. You can leave the roses by the windowsill, or on the bed.
WHERE DO YOU PUT THE ROSES? Bed or window?
-> put at window is better. kekes. he cant possibly miss it der. if put on bed too obvious. one look n he spot it. not fun le.

Later, its time for bed. You and your loved one go to sleep, in separate rooms. You wake up in the morning, and go to your boyfriend/girlfriend's room to check up on him/her. You enter the room:
IS HE/SHE AWAKE OR SLEEPING?
-> slping ba. he should be sumone who's more pig than me. =p

It's time to go home now, and you start to head back. You can take either road home now: The plain, boring one thats gets you home fast; or the curvy, sight-filled road that you can just casually take your time with.
WHICH ROAD DO YOU CHOOSE? Short or long?
-> long. more tinks to look at. not bored.





ANALYSIS
Which road do you choose to take to your love's house?

The roads represent your attitude towards falling in love.
If you chose the short one, you fall in love quickly and easily.
If you chose the long one, you take your time and do not fall in love easily.

What combination of roses do you choose to give your love?

The number of red roses represent how much you expect to give in a relationship.
The number of white roses represent how much you expect in a relationship. Therefore, if a person chose all red with one white, he/she gives 95% in the relationship but expects to receive only 5% back.
me is gives 90% n expects 10%. hmm.

Do you ask the maid to get your love, or do you do it yourself?

This question shows your attitude in handling relationship problems.
If you asked the maid to get your loved one, then you may beat around the bush, maybe asking a third party to intervene. Avoidance of problems runs high.
If you went and got your loved one yourself, then you are pretty direct. If there is a problem, you confront it and deal with it. You want to work it out right away.

Where do you put the roses? On the windowsill or on the bed?

The placement of the roses indictate how often you'd like to see your boyfriend/girlfriend.
Placing the roses on the bed means you need lots of reassurance in the relationship, and you'd want to see your loved one every day, if possible.
Placing the roses by the window show that you don't expect or need to see your loved one that often; seeing them just once in a while is OK.

Do you find your love asleep or awake?

Finding your boyfriend/ girlfriend asleep: You accept your loved one the way they are.
Finding them awake: You expect him/her to change for you.

Which road do you choose to go home?

The short and long roads now represent how long you stay in love.
If you chose the short one, you fall out of love easily.
If you chose the long one, you tend to stay in love for a long time.

mE!
mE!
J - Always hiding ur emotion.
A - You love to make the people around you happy and cheerful.
N - You are a sporty person.
I - You are always smiling & making others smile.
C - You definitely have a partier side in you, dont be shy to show it.
E - You are a very exciting person.

orAnJeEs.rOx
orAnJeEs.rOx
ytd went isa hse watch sum movies. got cass yun yen n me. den at isa hse we watch 3 shows. "Mean Girls", "50 First Dates" and "Mind Hunter". all 3 shows were very nice. de mind hunter was an exciting thriller. gross at sum parts thou. hmm. den 50 first dates was a touching show. thou de plot was quite a lame one if u hear it. but it's diff when u watch it. jus so touching n sweet n nice. kekes. mean girls is oso a nice story. a sweet one thou. kekes. nice story plot. n de main character acted by lincsay lohan was so pretty lo. so pretty. kekes.

today. went sch with kayi. we have no lessons but jus go sch for sum self study. haas. den i din study. cos i was doing little cards for oranjees since they will be having a match later on in de noon. so i decide make dem little cards of jiayou-ness lo. kekes. den kaiyi went to make a sorii card for her mum as she made her pretty angry with her de previous day. den we jus chatted along while doing our stuff. after all has been done. i passed de entire lot of cards to kendrick asking him to help me give out. as i wun be staying bak to cheer them on. sorii abt dat. hmm anyway me n kaiyi den went play for a 15-min bball game. one-on-one lo. kekes. won de first round. but she won bak on de second round. later on. we took our bags n left. before dat. i wished all de oranjees who have aleli reached a big gud luck. haas. after dat me n kaiyi went to jas hse to watch "13 Going On 30". sock n joyce came along too. it was quite a boring show initially. whereby it's on tis 13 yr old ger who wished to be 30 n flirty. n on her bday she got a gift frm a fren n sum wishing dust got onto her as she made a wish on being 30 yrs old. it came true. lols. but de show quite broing thou. haas. but overall so-so lo. after dat we all chatted a while more b4 me n kaiyi we left home.
bak at home i received a call frm kendrick jus as i woke up. kekes. he told me oranjees had won! kekes. i was so happy. de score was 6 to 5. dat's so great. kekes. oranjees roxs. =) was reali happy abt it. later on at msn. alan aaron cheangzheng. n several others came to thank me. kekes. i congrat dem too. we won de malay team! =) still rmb de other time they won us by 0 to 8. gosh dat was like de worst match played. so tis time round dey did well. kekes. happy for dat matter.
been wanting to pick saga seeds (love seeds). but dunoe where to pick. if anyone noes can kindly leave a comment telling me where i can pick them. hmm. i greatly appreciate dat. thanks wor.
sze. dun tink so much le. kekes. =p
nites everyone. gotta be busy tml. hais sat have to work at my mum's place. =x

Great Story
Great Story
Michael is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say: When someone would ask him how he was doing, He would reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!"He was a natural motivator. If an employee was having a bad day, Michael was there telling the employee how they could look on the positive side of the situation.Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Michael and asked him, "I don't get it! You can't be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?"Michael replied, "Each morning I wake up and say to myself, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or you can choose to be in a bad mood. I choose to be in a good mood. Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or I choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it. Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life.""Yeah, right, it's not that easy," I protested."Yes, it is," Michael, said. "Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people affect your mood. Your bottom line: It's your choice how you live life."I reflected on what Michael said.Soon after, I left the company to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.Several years later, I heard that Michael was involved in a serious accident, falling some 60 feet from a communications tower. After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, Michael was released from the hospital with rods placed in his back.I saw Michael about six months after the accident. When I asked him how he was, he replied. "If I were any better, I'd be twins. Wanna see my scars?"I declined to see his wounds, but I did ask him what had gone through his mind as the accident took place. "The first thing that went through my mind was the well being of my soon to be born daughter," Michael replied. "Then, as I lay on the ground, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or I could choose to die. I chose to live."Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?" I asked.Michael continued, "...the paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the ER and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read, "he's a dead man". I knew I needed to take action.""What did you do?" I asked."Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting questions at me," said Michael. "She asked if I was allergic to anything. "Yes, I replied."The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, "Gravity."Over their laughter, I told them, "I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead."Michael lived, thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude. I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully.Attitude, after all, is everything. "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. After all today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday."

Hilary Duff - Where Did I Go Right
<Hilary Duff - Where Did I Go Right
hais. tis song is beautiful. so nice. enjoyed it. like tis song loads. =)


Makes no sense to me
No it isn't clear
But somehow you're standing here
Something gets to me
It's that nothing is wrong

Chorus:
Where did I go right
How did I get you
How come all this blue sky around me
And you found me
Where did I go right
How did I get you
I don't know how I did
But somehow now I do

Cinderella Story
Cinderella Story
have always been fascinated by fairytale. so magical. so romantic. so sweet. such happy endings.
of all fairy tales i enjoyed n liked cinderella de most le. hmm diary. tell ya de story kkie? it's sze version. she told dat to me. but she copied dat from peiying's version. =x hais

once upon a time
dere's a gal name cinderella
den she got 2 evil stepsisters n 1 evil stepmother
den they kip bullying her~
den one day
the prince send an invitation to her house
erms
dey.. er..
dey stole her clothes
den den dey tear it up
make into new nice nice clothings for demselves
so d prince send invitation to her houz
den the stupid stepmoher got the invitation
den she want her 2 daughters to go. cos she wan dem be the wife of the prince
den she purposely duwan let cinderella go
cos she noes cinderella chio-er den if she go den her two ugly daughters will lose to her
so on the day of the ball.. the stepmother ask cinderella go clean the houz
den
cinderella haf to stay at hme do
den when she was doing the house wrk
suddenly~ one old man pop out
denn the old man told cinderella tt she is her fairy godm her
suddenly~ one old woman pop out*
denn the old woman told cinderella tt she is her fairy godm her
godmother*
den cos the fairy godmother got magic~
so she turn cinderella de torn and tattered clothes into nice nice de dress
den still got glass slippers
den the fairy godmother still turn a pumpkin into a carriage
den the carriage bring cinderella to the palace
erm yah den cinderella reach the palace
den the prince think she v. chio
so he dance with her
den dey talk talk talk
until the clock striked 12
miss sum part leh
lolx
eh i forgot to sae
she mut come back by 12
cinderella then told the prince that she haf to go
den she ran away without telling the prince her name
bud, while she was running she left a glass slipper dere
cinderella went back to the houz
b4 the stepmother stepped in
bud the stepmother already noe that cinderella went to the bakk
bcos she saw her
so she sscolded her
for not cleaning the houz
and going to the bal
cinderealla was locked in her room
bcos she nv do houz wrk n go to the ball w/o permission
den the next day
the prince went to every houz in the city
to find the owner
den slowly, he came to cinderella's houz
then he ask for all the women in the houz
and wan them to try the sliipper
so her stepmother sae only gt 3 including her
then the fat fat step sister try
den her feet tooo phat cannot fit
den the second step sister
too tall le
so her feet oso long long one
the vain stepmother oso wan try
den she try to fit inside
den cos her feet too smelly
so the prince duwan her dirty the shoes
lol
destroy ur fairy tail
so he decided not to let her wear~
den suddenly he heard some noise up stairs coming from a room
so he questioned the stepmother~
then the stepmother let cinderella out cos she hav no choice
den cinderella try the slipper
the slipper fit
den the prince brought him back to the palce
den they got married
THEN the prince HUG cinderella and they live happily ever after
the end.

Jay - 简单爱
Jay - 简单爱
说不上为什么 我变得很主动
若爱上一个人 什么都会值得去做
我想大声宣布 对妳依依不舍
连隔壁邻居都猜到我现在的感受
河边的风 在吹着头发飘动
牵着妳的手 一阵莫名感动
我想带妳 回我的外婆家
一起看着日落 一直到我们都睡着
我想就这样牵着妳的手不放开
爱能不能够永远单纯没有悲哀
我 想带妳骑单车 我 想和妳看棒球 心意
想这样没担忧 唱着歌 一直走
我想就这样牵着妳的手不放开
爱可不可以简简单单没有伤害
妳 靠着我的肩膀 妳 在我胸口睡着
像这样的生活 我爱妳 妳爱我
想 简！简！单！单！ 爱
想 简！简！单！单！ 爱

JiAn dAn Ai
JiAn dAn Ai
zHe shOu "jAy-JiAn.dAn.Ai" kE sHi wO Yi zHi dOu hAo Xi huAn dE Yi shOu gE. rU gUo Ai QiNg jiU yOu rU "jAy-JiAn.dAn.Ai" dE zHe Yi shOu gE xiNg rOnG dE nA mO jiAn dAn, nA gAi dUo hAo. dAn sHi piAn piAn jiU bU sHi. tis video clip of "jAy-JiAn.dAn.Ai" is a nice n sweet one. =p

today went spore poly. not at all interesting. de course i went to was option B which was on biochemistry. i was in de same course as cass yun n sijie. it was boring. i felt as if i was doing a chem practical. which is de subject dat i disliked de most. gosh. den we were all like left out of de lesson. cos de mentor seems to be teaching only to de other 2 groups except us. lucky got de student mentors to help us. den got tis short hair ger she's cute n friendly. n oso a long hair ger whos friendly too. plus tis guy whose hair is so smooth n straight n nice n whose cheeks glowed pinkish n complexion so gud. he's friendly too. all 4 of us were reali admiring his wonderful complexion. anyway we had quite a boring time der. after we finish our practical, yun n cass tot we might make muffins. but we din. disappointed all 4 of us thou. can see yun's disapointed face. den we receive a room perfume as souvenier too. after dat we arrived in de convention hall n waited der for a long time for de rest of our frens cos we were being dismissed an hour early. hais. den der so sianz. cass took out her eng hmk n finished a PPW wks till they arrive. wonderful. den yun play her electronic game. den i read sum eng stories. den sijie oso. den later me n sijie slp. i slp a little. sijie slp more. =x later on we went hougang mall eat with sum of our class guys. actually wan play bball. den cass hesitated den weiling decided not to. den we were like all so indecisive. hais. in de end nv play. we went home n i slp de moment i reach.
anyway. sorii wor kaiyi. din manage to pei ya play n all. sorii wor. =) hope ya dun mind. =x takecare. miss ya happy fruit. =p

guess wat. hais. overheard my parents abt my grandpa. he's left with a few days to weeks. jus broke into tears at dat moment. i dun nid any consoling. jus leave me alone to cool down. thanks anyway. hais. not in a beli gud mood these days. with addition to these. i jus feel much worse. jus thank goodness my preliums r over. =x jus couldnt express myself. if i do have mood swings these days. jus hope my frens pardon me den. feeling so moodless. terrible deep down.

sZe.jAs
sZe.jAs
~Don't be afraid to go after what you want to do, and what you want to be. But don't be afraid to be willing to pay the price.. *Faith is believing when it is beyond the power of reason to believe... so don lost faith.. if one day there's reali no one u can trust.. u can Place your trust in me, for I will never let you down. Because your trust makes me stronger, strong enough for to never have to let you down... ~

dat's a dif set of trust entrusted in one person. no one can get wat i meant. neither me nor u. mutual trust? family trust? forget abt those. i have none of it. afraid? maybe not. perhaps im immune den. hais. anyway thanx jas for ur effort. sze. thanx for tryign to cheer me up. felt a little bit better. thanx. both of u are great. =)

Love Poems
Love Poems
Love Poem 1
If i knew all this was just a pack of lies
Forever buried in the groud i hope it lies
Not asking u to stay with mi
Leave mi not is all i wish
Normal friends we have became
Forever like this it will remain
If you cant see that im hurting badly,
Now dear,look at me.....
What u did was not action of a hero
Cos all that u've left was sorrow
Im not sharing your point of view,
I know alota girls are waiting at ya queue
But let me say it now loud & clear,
Slashed into my heart is a sharp glass spear
One that cant be taken out without leaving mi in tears
Things done cannot be undone
In this darkness, may there be sun
Smiles u've brought alone with frowns
How i wish we never had began

Love Poem 2
Close friends we promised to remain
For a while we managed to maintain
Constant contact we both proclaimed
Our friendship was like a diminishing flame
No matter how hard i try to substain........
Care and concern i showed him
I thought that's what friendship means
Maybe i over did things a bit
Cos i still like him i admit
Thanked mi he did for being there
He've had enough of my constant care
Surprised i was by his reaction
Respect i will towards his decision
But curious i am of his 'close friend' definition.....
Promised him something i once did
Regretfully i wont be able to fulfill it
A early happy birthday i wish him
Since i will no longer be in the scene.....
Disappear i will from his world
Hatred for him i do not hold
May happiness accompany him to the end
Take care always, my dear friend............

Short Story
Short Story
As I was walking down life's highway many years ago, I came upon a sign that read
Heavens Grocery Store.

When I got a little closer the doors swung open wide
And when I came to myself, I was standing inside.

I saw a host of angels.

They were standing everywhere

One handed me a basket and said "My child, shop with care."

Everything a human needed was in that grocery store

And what you could not carry you could come back for more

First I got some Patience.

Love was in that same row.

Further down was Understanding,

You need that everywhere you go.

I got a box or two of Wisdom and Faith a bag or two.

And Charity of course

I would need some of that too.

I couldn't miss the Holy Ghost

It was all over the place.

And then some Strength and Courage to help me run this race.

My basket was getting full but I remembered I needed Grace,

And then I chose Salvation for Salvation was for free

I tried to get enough of that to do for you and me.

Then I started to the counter to pay my grocery bill,

For I thought I had everything to do the Masters will.

As I went up the aisle
I saw Prayer and put that in,

For I knew when I stepped outside I would run into sin.

Peace and Joy were plentiful, the last things on the shelf.

Song and Praise were hanging near so I just helped myself.

Then I said to the angel
"Now how much do I owe?"

He smiled and said "Just take them everywhere you go."

Again I asked "Really now, How much do I owe?"

"My child" he said,
"God paid your bill a long long time ago."

monday blues
monday blues
went sch beli early today. reached at abt 8 plus to do my eng hmk. when lessons supposed to start at 10.30. a bit crazy hor. =x but i prefer like dat. at least i can concentrate more. den reach sch i sat in de canteen. de entire place was empty except for de stall vendors n one 5N2 guy. i was concentrating my work when suddenly benny popped out in front of me. gave me a choc n went off after i gave him a card. long time nv chat with him. my close fren ma. =p later on sze sat down n we chatted. n i neglected my work. din do much after dat. den sze keep complaining she no where to go. but she actually can go with shaoxiong they all to rivervale plaza eat since she's hungry too. but she say beli far. piangz. rivervale plaza leh. haas. she ar. speechless. later on kaiyi isa n yen join our table. n we chatted. soon later sze went home with jacqueline while de rest of us went for our lessons.
had a short eng lesson. abt an hour oni. frm 10.30 to 11.30 when it's suppose to end at 12.30. gud rite. haas. but it's mainly cos she's slack a lot. lols
after dat went eating at kfc with qian ling jie yun n cass. den later siangling n meiying joined us. after eating. cass went home. sijie n her gang went play badminton at her hse der. den me pei yun buy sum stuff den go interchange sit down n chat. actually wan go sijie hse der de. but yun dun wan. so pei her. den cat beli long b4 she decide to cum my hse. den she explore all my stuff. my gifts n all. later she went home.
reaching bak i slept till abt 10 plus. woke up lost all appetite in eating. hais. went online do sum stuff den later ate sum stuff bought by my dad. den went to slp. felt as if ive said sumtink not quite rite. felt reali uneasy. de replys i got bak r jus making me feel so uneasy.

tired out
tired out
STOP HIGH-LIGHTING MY JOURNAL!
well. has been slacking de whole day. been so tired. tried to do a little of eng thou. den in de noon. realsed i had a slight fever. dat explains de fatigue i have been feeling. popped in 1 panadol. felt a little queasy. watch tv n slept. wake up le den jus now receive a sms. hmm. replied le den i went to slack abt again. =x later at 7 oclock i watch de show on channel 8. it was fantastic. such a marvellous show. =p. hmm oh ya. ytd nites got de "quan ming o xiang" at channel u. ms beh was featured in it. =) kekes. she's so cool. she's der teaching de contestants dance steps. wa! she's so impressive. i have grown to admire her more n more. she's my idol lo. next time i wan be like her oso. i wan go learn dance liao. den i wan be trch oso. but maybe not a sch trch. hmm. i wan be a maths tutor. kekes. easier life. not as stressful as sch trch. =p. but i reali wan be like her as a part-time dancer. =x must strive liao. so sad. dat time trch day is my last performance in xms le. will miss xms. my frens n all. =x hais. how i wish sec education lasted longer. 4 yrs is too short le. =x.
* gonna study when reach home. hope * does so. sze din study at all. worrying for her. reali hope she will start studying for her exams. i blive u can do it de. study hard kkie. all de best to u all for ur n-levels tml. muaks! misses all!
having a headache rite now. gotta go rest le. tml still have eng lessons by mrs lee. gosh. wonder wat's install for me. hais. afriad of getting bak my paper lo. din finish my compo at all. =x hais. i hope i can score lo. but with an unfinished compo? i jus have to dream on...worse. mrs tan ytd sms me dat i did not write my name on my emaths prelium exam. gosh. i was so worried lo. she say will be heavily penalised. so afraid. dunoe y i can be blur as dat. terrible of me. k ba. diary. lights out. nites.

mE.cASs.sEL
mE.cASs.sEL
took pic on last fri. with cass n sel. yun din wan to take. so sad dat she's not in de pic. hmm. nvm der's still a next time. =) cheerios yun. saw yan hui der. den she beli bad. we taking pic dat time she suddenly came in n beat me. make me look so kelian in one of de pic. =x. dat hit was painful lo. =p

tis is de pic! =x

Love Poems
Love Poems
these poems are so sweet. haas. was surfing around when i came across these. hmm. have a read at it. =) tink i gonna leave a poem after each entry i made next time. =p

Poem 1
wads so great abt him?
some1 kindly hint?
he got me head over heels,
i loved him so i strongly feel.
he glanced over n caught my eye,
my face felt burnt...was that shy?
i felt so lost in his eyes...
like there's no way out,i don't know why.
he read my heart from my eyes,
n sensed i'm melting away just like ice...
he smiled, but it seemed so sly,
was it something he wanna imply??
but the smile took me for a fly
to the clouds of hapiness in the sky.
lurking behind could all be lies,
i couldn't see, coz love is blind.

Poem 2
People thinks that I m silly,
To hold on something not so worthy.
They even think it's a pity,
That I wouldn't face the reality.

It's the feeling that I'm seeking,
If I deny my true feelings,
Then its me myself tat i'm cheating.
Hence..I keep on waiting..

Its true he once hurt me deep,
But he too gave me the love I need..
So I won't admit my defeat,
Stand up,n dance with the music to the beat.

Yet autumn after autumns, spring after springs,
Time passes, just in a wink.
He was mine, only in dreams,
The dreams were sweet, like cookies n cream!!

One day he called, "it's just another chat" I thought,
He said, "I feel for you", THAT gave me a shock!!~
Was it April fool's day? I realized its not,
I felt as if I'd conquered the mountain top!

He asked if I was willing to wait.
Leaving the relationship to the fate.
He hopes by then its not too late,
To make up for his past mistakes..

Dear fate, play me out not,
I really love him lots n lots...
give us the chance to b together again,
its the only cure to my greatest pain..

Women Are Complex Creatures
Women Are Complex Creatures
If you kiss her,
you are not a gentleman
If you don't,
you are not a man

If you praise her,
she thinks you are lying
If you don't,
you are good for nothing

If you agree to all her likes,
you are a wimp
If you don't,
you are not understanding

If you visit her often,
she thinks you are boring
If you don't,
she accuses you of double-crossing

If you are well dressed,
she says you are a playboy
If you don't,
you are a dull boy

If you are jealous,
she says it's bad
If you don't,
she thinks you do not love her

If you attempt a romance,
she says you didn't respect her
If you don't,
she thinks you do not like her

If you are a minute late,
she complains it's hard to wait
If she is late,
she says that's a girl's way

If you visit another man,
you're not putting in "quality time"
If she is visited by another woman,
"oh it's natural, we are girls"

If you kiss her once in a while,
she professes you are cold
If you kiss her often,
she yells that you are taking advantage

If you fail to help her in crossing the street,
you lack ethics
If you do,
she thinks it's just one of men's tactics for seduction

If you stare at another woman,
she accuses you of flirting
If she is stared by other men,
she says that they are just admiring

If you talk,
she wants you to listen
If you listen,
she wants you to talk

In short:

So simple, yet so complex
So weak, yet so powerful
So confusing, yet so desirable
So damning, yet so wonderful... ....WOMEN!

=D such cool tink. kekes. quite true wor. hmmm. gers. we rox. =p

cYnDi
cYnDi
kekes. cyndi got new song. de title is "hua de hun sha". wa. beli nice song lo. hmm love it so much. cyndi my ever idol.! =D kekes. she's so fantastic. she's acting in tis serial show too "tian guo de jia yi". seems to be a beli nice show. reali wan to watch it. kekes. =) it is to be shown in scv. but i dunoe which channel. =x if anyone noe tell me k. kekes. jus downloaded all her trailers n all. so nice lo. hmm. de main website for tis serial show "http://www.settv.net/metro/m089/" she looks stunningly pretty lo. =p hao xian mu. =) kekes. anyone who has any stuff on cyndi send me kkie? kekes. my email janiceksy_88@hotmail.com or cutey_chaotabao@yahoo.com.sg =).
//.cyndi.rox.my.world.\
hmm. tinks has been fine le. guess i was pretty harsh on *. but den * din react de way i tot * would. was touched. perhaps maybe im too softhearted. but am i reali? i dun tink so leh. but i guess i was probably touched by de sincerity shown. to others it might not mean anytink. but to me. well. it could perhaps means a lot.

hais
hais
hais. it jus seems dat u does't care afterall. du even bother to reply. suan le. perhaps im jus too silly to have actually even tot of trusting ya. i was wrong. totally wrong. maybe yun's rite. till de day u can prove ur worth den.

*As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down, probably will. You'll have your heart broken and you'll break others hearts. You'll cry because time is flying by, and you'll eventually lose somebody you love. So take too many pictures, Laugh too much, Forgive freely and Love like you've never been hurt because every second you spend angry or upset is a second of happiness you can never get back...*

daddy jus called me. seems dat he has asked him to help him in tis matter. dun he even noe how to explain for himself. must he rely on others to explain these tinks himself. =X speechless. nth more to say abt u le.

sad.disappointed
sad.disappointed
dunoe wat's wrong with me. dunoe y i could jus teared cos of tismatter. too sensitive? maybe. or jus concern for ya.
so disappointed in de both of u. ur jus left me speechless with nth more to say. esp u. u jus promised me last nite. less than 24 hours ago! u say we lack of trust. i trusted u. wat did u do den. nv expect ya to break ya promise. so fast. hais. jus terribly disappointed.
sze. dun like dat anymore le. jus hope ya study hard. i dun mean any harm. u should noe de. i dun wish to quarrel with ya either. jus let me be angry for today. jus tis once. im not in a gud mood since morning. sorii if im ever too harsh on u.

(-.-)
(-.-)
today had emaths paper 2 exam. mrs tan said it was beli beli difficult. but in de end it turn out not reali. quite tedious thou. n challenging in sum parts. but overall not as difficult as ive imagined. jus hope i can score well. hais. dun wanna do lousy in my maths anymore. =x my future depends on dat le.
hmm. had a small arguement with *. felt weird de whole nites. cant reali slp well. =x
today went out with yun sel cass xian char n han. we went compass food court eat. den later on me n sel go yun hse while de rest went home. at yun hse we chatted quite a lot. catching up with old times. hmmm. seems like i was chatting most of de time. haas. =p. den we oso tot until our future. haas. funny lo. hmm. i was tinking i wan be a part-time maths tutor. kekes. n oso a part-time dancer. =) my 2 fave tinks. kekes. im gonna try to work towards my dreams den. but i jus scare i dun have de qualifications to dance or teach maths oni. =x.
oso dunoe wat * tinking. hais. hope * wun lie to me can le. =)
tis song is nice. i love it. =) de lyrics is so meaningful n true =) if u actually get wat it means.

Tata Young - I Think Of You
When I'm down and all alone
When nothing seems to matter
When I lose my hope
When I'm sad and confused

When it all gets turned around and 'round
I can't seem to reach for solid ground
When everything I've believed in seems untrue
All I have to do

[Chorus]
Is think of you
I think of you and it's gone
Like you chase away the storm
Making it all okay
I think of you
I think of you and I'm strong
And I know I can go on
It's like you set me free
When life gets the best of me
I just think of you

Now I know what love means
And whatever life may hold for me
Through the fire
Through the rain I believe

Cause there's nothing I can't bear
Knowing that you will be there
If I fall I won't break
Through it all I'll make it through
Cause all I have to do

[Chorus]

And when I think I'm all alone
I can't see the way to go
Lost in the rain of my own tears
To wash away the pain and fear

[Chorus]

For the good times and the bad times
I just think of you
Cause you know you get the best of me
I just think of you

.love.or.like.
.love.or.like.i dun like anyone now. no. not anymore. there's no insurance in love. it isn't anytink dat's so great dat one nids it to rely on. perhaps love is jus sweet talks dat guys say to ger who like dem. it doesn't have much meaning to anyone. if the 3 words "i love you" r always hanging on de tip of one's mouth. lack of sincerity n all. love hurts. loads of ppl say dat when they break up. love's sweet. well. dat's wat those lovey-dovey couples will say. isn't it? wat does love means to u den? a game? a toy for ya to play with till u get sick of it or has like another toy. i hate guys. i mean guys who smoke. guys who join gangs. guys who hurls vulgarities. guys who fight. but i guess dat's so ironic of me to say dat when my previous 2 guys have almost all of de above qualities. so contradicting rite. do u reali tink they will stop doing all these jus bcos of u? nah. they tend not to do it in front of u oni. who knows wat they will do when u're not ard. wateva happens they have nth but jus dat mouth to save themselves out of de hot pot.nth has spark off anytink in me to write tis. perhaps im jus tinking too much or jus out of boredom to write such stuff. i have much more tinks to write n say. my feelings has been stirred. by whom. i have yet to noe either. i wrote all these out of craziness. out of sianzness. out of my stressful lifestyle rite now. dreaming is all i like. in my dreams i acn jus make anytink dat is unreal to cum true. dat's even sweeter, even nicer, even more beautiful. cos i can control it. =)

*sianz day.
*sianz day.
woke up at 12.30 today. had abt 12 hrs of slp.
* always beli late go home. * say * will listen wateva i say. dunoe true not. =x
benny called me today. had a nice chat with him. reali beli long time nv chat with him le. he so bad lo. haas. =p we reali had a great time toking. =) hope he will be guai n start studying for his n-levels. hope hell be de first person whom i nagged at to study n reali did study hard. unlike sze ck n jingjie. =x u better dun disappoint me. get gud results show me if u still treat me as ur wei yi se cai wor. kekes.
* so bad. din came to support me. =x. he nv reply further le. hais.