oh mine. .
oh mine. .
oMg. hais. maia's out of spore idol. wonder how spore voted lo. she did gud in ytd show. . .sly did well too. reali delivered a shock to me during de results show today. hais. imagine when ya great idol being out of a competition n ya fren actually jeered abt it. luffing thru-out the msg. well. dat feeling hurts thou. perhaps dat crude remark is. .optional? im aleli so upset abt the results. well. maybe im emotional. or even im jus over-reacting. shall apologise if im too harsh. =) kekes. im oki aleli. cant deny dat i was a little . .hmm. not happy. haas. but sorii wor. =)
=x maia. ya a versatile performer. dun be disheartened. dun give up on ur dreams kkie?. . could see dat ya rather gloomy on the stage today. it does show on ur face thou. cheerios* ur fans will be behind you. =). .
last week was jerry out. well. i admire his courage. admire his will to stand by himself. he doesn't wallow in self-pity even when almost everyone n everywhere (even the judges) were critising him. moreover. he's reali a super nice guy actually. de other time when the idols were finished with the filming of the american pie mtv, all of them went up the buses except jerry! who stayed behind to help out the crew to pack the tinks n equipment. ain't he thoughtful? he's a caring guy. yea. =)

/ listening to -* lindsay lohan-i decide *-

*-- jan

What's Love?
What's Love
If you love some one because you think that he or she is really gorgeous... then it's not love...
It's INFATUATION

If you love some one because you think that you shouldn't leave him beacuse others think that you shouldn't... then it's not love... it's
COMPROMISE



If you love some one because you have been kissed by him... then it's not love... it's
INFERIORITY COMPLEX

If you love some one because you cannot leave him thinking that it would hurt his feelings... then it's not love... it's
CHARITY

If you love some one because you share everything with him... then it's not love... it's
FRIENDSHIP

But if you feel the pain of the other person more than him even when he is stable and you cry for him... that's
LOVE

If you attracted to other people but stay with him without any regrets... that's
LOVE

If you let him go knowing that he has to go but he doesn't want to... that's
LOVE

Does your heart ache and break when he's sad?
Than it's LOVE

Do you cry for his pain, even when he's strong? Then it's LOVE

Do you accept his faults because it's a part of who he is?
Then it's LOVE

Are you attracted to others, but stay with him faithfully without regret?
Then it's LOVE

Somewhere there's someone who dreams of your smile, and finds in your presence that life is worth while, so when you are lonely, remember it's true:
Somebody, Somewhere Is Thinking Of You

Maia
Maia

Sylvester
Sylvester

Singapore Idol
Singapore Idol
been to singapore idol spectacular results 3 last nite!!!! ain't dat fantastic! so great! =D wOah. so happy lo. so glad!. yiipEs. mais such a sexy n pretty babe. sylvester a cool dude. =D kekes. so so happy to see them in person! gosh. i feel on cloud nine. kekes. guess how i got de ticket? haas. by luck sia. cos oranjees was sitting in the compass interchange waiting for cz. den a man approach them n asked if they watch spore idol. so they say yes. n de guy continued n ask how many of them. den they say 6. den the man gave them 10 tickets to spore idol!!!!!! wA! such luck! =) den de guys told us. n ytd nite we went!!!. gosh. such a pity dat they din get the hp number of dat man who gave them tickets. otherwise i can try contacting dat man n asked for more. lols. i reali yearn to go lo. =x. sad sia. how i wish i have more tickets. wonder how to get those tickets. i wan sia. heard frm my sis dat her sch trch is trying to help them get de tickets. den i asked her help me get if possible. i wan go sia! haas. met maia's sister too. lols. maia reali beli pretty. n not to mention she's a hot babe. how i wish i can see her perform. but i went for the results. so din watch her perform. of cos canot watch her perform. if she perform means she out lo. *touchwood. she wun be. she's gonna be de spore idol!. . tis goes the same to sly! haas. sylvester n maia gonna be the spore idol! gees. cos they're de best! they seems to be so close sia. kekes. hope they be a couple? today my sis went orchard jus to see maia n sly. cos she heard frm her trch say they going there today. n she did saw them!!!. i din go. sad case. cos today i went to anderson jc openhse.
today's xms openhse too. wonder how is it. guess it must be going on well. i have faith in my present hod. haas. anyway. jas. next time got publicity if got do anytink tell me kkie? i mean after my olevels lo. kekes. =) gonna come bak to sjab. =D kekes.
today went for anderson jc openhse. den look at de dance society. haas. they say can appeal thru dance cca leh. so gud rite? den moreover there's a dance workshop on de 25th dec. feel like going. but isa doesn't seem interested. but even so. it doesn't mean i can appeal thru dance. cos wat if i cant meet their criteria?.. dat'll be such a disappointment den. =x. n i oso wun wan go dat workshop alone. hais. i'm so yearning to go into a dance cca!!!. meridian's jc oso not bad. their dance society is fantastic too. lols. seems like im choosing sch jus cos of their cca. =x kekes. but rite. de dance society seems to include chinese dance n ballet! gosh. how can i imagine myself dancing such dance genre. ppl might jus puke. lols. lucky got hip hop n modern dance n such. haas. nvm. can give it a try still. i wish i can get into dat cca lo. but jus afraid i dun meet their criteria. hais. jiayou jan.

feL
feL
heys feL. surprised i wrote an entry for ya. =) kekes.ya the first one i ever dedicate an entire entry to. =D well. as in for writing nice stuff. =p reali miss the days where we had fun at de nco camp. =)

"Sometimes differences piece up together well to give a beautiful picture. Like a jigsaw that gives you friends.
When the differences do not match, you have to let go
or else one or both will suffer and nothing is going to be formed."

gees. thanks feL. =) tis analogy does have great meanings in it. =D takecare kkie? misses* *huGs. .

.hmm . .
.hmm . .
ive had enuff of ya sarcasm today. dat's it. if dat prob gets any much worser. den let's nto hang out den. save all the unhappiness. save all the troubles. yea? i feel it's much better den. benefits both parties. i jus cant stand ppl accusing me for tinks ive NOT done. n i daresay it's not my fault. i din pang seh u at all. u msg me amidst my exams trying to expect a reply from me? how can?. .n u actually take a silence for a yes. couldn't u spare a tot for me? i mean like it's obviously dat i'll be going with yun they all rite? i cant possibly be always sticking with u n forgoing my other frens. how would they feel then? they would most probably feel much worst than u felt dat particular day. dun expect me to put on a i-felt-so-sorry-abt-the-other-day-pls-forgive-me face. it's gud enuff dat i had apologised for not being able to accompany u. moreover it wasn't my fault dat i couldn't accompany u. u came here on ur will. without informing me beforehand. dun blame me for my harshness. u deserve it. dun u find tis phrase of "u deserve it" familiar? well. u said it to me tis recess. u even uttered words "serves u rite" when the noodles i ate splattered sauce on my uniform.. aren't u a meanie? pardon my candidness. ive tried my best in getting myself to be normal towards u the whole day. trying to be magnanimous n forget abt wateva happen the other day. but it means. my kindness begets sarcasm. or wateva. u brought dat issue up trying to say as if i was the one at fault. asking why i could be so happy? hur~ y cant i? im a forgiving person unlike ya den. u made me fed up. real fed up on dat day. cos i noe. dat today i will certainly be confronted as to the happenings on dat sat. i wonder how many ppl u've got on ur side. but it doesn't matter. anyway true enuff. fran did it. the moment she saw me in class. "u heng ar. lucky she got us to pei her. den we had fun lo. . . ." tis sentence. i got pissed off by it. "lucky"? wat a word to use. me heng? im de unlucky one i felt. i dun care who fran is siding with. but it's obviously with u. who noes wat kind of info u've fed her with. u're jus saying ur side of story. but wat abt mine? i noe ya angry. i noe ya fed up too. but uve got urself to blame. for having to make a self confirmation dat i can surely accompany u. jus to avoid such conflicts. i jus wan say dat pls dun take my silence as consent. at least respect my decision. maybe right now dat u're reading in ya almost bursting with anger. simmer down den. now u make ur choice. frens we'll surely stay. but since we seem to be unhappy with each other n yet spent time together during recess. wun it be so miserable?. ya close with fran they all. u can get near them if u wan. ur choice.

Love Philosophy
Love Philosophy
Have you ever been in love? Horrible, isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up.
You build up all these defenese. You build up this whole armor, for years, so nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person,
no different from any others stupid person,
wanders into your stupid life... You give them a piece of you.
They don't ask for it. They do something dumb one day like
kiss you, or smile at you, and then your life isn't your
own anymore. Love takes hostages.
It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in
the darkness, so a simple phrase like 'maybe we should just be friends' or 'how very perceptive' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a body-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you apart pain.

To let a fool kiss you is stupid.
To let a kiss fool you is worse.

Love is like a friendship caught on fire. In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, Deep-burning and unquenchable.

Never love with all your heart, it only ends in aching.

True love doesn't have a happy ending cause true love doesn't have a ending.

Personality Test
Personality Test
1) You are walking down a path. What do you see around you?
A) A deep, dark forest. The trees are so thick that only abit of sky show through.
B) A cornfield. It stretches as far as you can see, under a bright blue sky.
C) Green rolling hills, dotted with trees. Beyond them you can almost see mountains.
cornfield ba.

2) You spot an object by your feet. What is that?
A) A mirror
B) A ring
C) A bottle
ring! =)

3) Do you pick it up?
A) Yes
B) No
yep of cos. kekes. cos im always so curious over such stuff. =p

4) Continuing along the path, you came across some water. What form is the water in?
A) A cool, clear, serene lake.
B) A crashing waterfall.
C) A babbling brook.
crashing waterfall! kekes. i like to see waterfall. =)

5) You see a key in the water and reach down to pick it up. What does it look like?
A) A simple house key.
B) A fancy antique key.
C) A small padlock key.
a padlock key ba.

6) As you walk farther along the path, you came to a house. What kind of house is it?
A) Hollywood -style mansion.
B) A cottage with a well -tended lawn.
C) A beautiful castle in ruins.
a sweet-looking cottage. =)

7) What do you do?
A) Look in the window.
B) Go inside.
C) Walk on.
look in de window lo. if got ppl inside den i like dat walk in sure kana scolding.

8) Suddenly, something jumps out and scares at you. What is it?
A) A bear.
B) A wizard
C) A troll.
wizard. lols. been fascinated with it. kekes.

9) You run down the path until you reach a wall with a door in it. You peek through the keyhole. What's on the other side?
A) The lush gardens of an awesome house.
B) A pond in the middle of the desert.
C) A sandy beach with crashing waves.
lush gardens of an awesome hse. =)

Question 1 show your attitude toward life.
A) If you chose the forest, you're deep, quiet. People find you incredibly interesting because you don't know how to show your true self right away.
B) If you chose the cornfield, you're bright, honest and likeable. You make friends easily and rarely get bummed. You've got a rep for being entertaining and fun, and you're always the center of attention.
C) If you chose the rolling hills, you're practical and down-to-earth, and you attract people with your straightforward nature. A great problem solver, you always listen to both points of view before taking a side.

Question 2 reveals what kind of boyfriend/girlfriend you're looking for.
A) If you chose the mirror, you're seaching for a guy/gal who shares your outlook on life. You've got a pretty good idea of what your ideal boyfriend/girlfriend is like, but you keep an open mind - the perfect guy may be someone you normally wouldn't look at twice!
B) If you chose the ring, you are a true romantic. When in a relationship, you work hard at keeping things mushy. You belive true love is forever, and although you might not admit it, you want your guy/gal care about you.
C) If you chose the bottle, you want someone who's not afraid to show his intelligence. Ambitious, hard-working guys/gals turn you on drop-dead gorgeous just isn't enough for you.

Question 3 tells how commitment-ready you are.
A) If you said yes, you're dying to pick the right person.
B) If you said no, you're into playing the field for now.

Question 4 symbolizes your passion potential.
A) If you chose the lake, you're not interested in having a superficial relationship. Once you meet someone you're really into, your love runs deep.
B) If you chose the waterfall, opposite sex think you're ultrasexy.You're good at turning on the charm, and loads of guys/gals lust after you.
C) If you chose the brook, you're always crushing on someone new. You're an expert flirt, and you're frequently on the move from one guy to the next.

Question 5 expresses your views on school
A) If you saw the housekey, education is less important to you than the world beyond. Secretly, you may be dying to start a career and a home of your own.
B) If you saw the antique key, you consider education to be crucial. You want work hard and want to absorb as much knowledge as you possibly can.
C) If you saw the padlock key, you may not be too into school, but you still have plenty of great ideas. You follow your intuition, so you may eventually end up in an offbeat career.

Question 6 gives clues about your ambitions
A) If you chose the mansion, you've got tons of goals. You strive to be the best at whatever you do, and you're attracted to jobs that let you express your energetic personality. Being successful makes you superpsyched.
B) If you chose the cottage, you have a realistic attitude toward a future profession. Because your feet are planted firmly on the ground, you'll probably rock at whatever career you pick.
C) If you chose the castle, your career dreams could be a little unrealistic. Becoming a mega-star would be fab, but aim for something closer to home first. Otherwise, you may wind up being a little disappointed.

Question 7 shows your attitude towards success
A) If you looked through the window, you're a little afraid of failing. Taking that first step toward reaching a goal is the most intimidating to you, so don't give up before you've actually tried.
B) If you went inside, you feel confident about success. Nothing's going to stand in your way!
C) If you kept walking, success isn't a big deal for you. you're content with simple things and you'd rather be around people you love than spend your life trying to get to te top.

Question 8 reveals your worst fears
A) If you chose the bear, you worry about being able to stand on your own feet. Independence is totally key.
B) If you chose the wizard, you're scared about things that are often beyond your control. So, to make up for it, you sometimes go on a heavy-duty power amperage.
C) If you chose the troll, you tend to obsess over how others see you. It's crucial that people like you. You're desperate to fit into the in crowd. You need to learn to trust your own judgment.

Question 9 represents your innermost self
A) If you chose the gardens, you're mature and honest. You belive in speaking your mind, and people rely on you to provide a sensible viewpoint. However, you may come across problems in the future that you'll have to solve with your heart, not your head.
B) If you chose the desert pond, you have a deep need for your own space. You're always analyzing your thoughts, and you've been known to do a someone you trust can help you feel better.
C) If you chose the beach, you are passionate about life and have strong opinions that you aren't afraid to reveal. But you're unpredictable, and you change those opinions often. Sometimes, like the ocean, you'll show your calmer side, but usually not for long!

Meaningful Love Quotes
Meaningful Love Quotes
Don't be too good I will miss you.
Don't be too caring, I might like you.
Don't be too sweet, I might fall for you.
It's hard for me to love you when you won't love me after all...

Bottom-line : A person who makes me love him is actually a person who loves me more than I love him.



Don't throw your back to love when it's already in
front of you. Don't drive it away from you because if you do,
someday you'll think again why you let love fly away when it was once residing next to you.

Bottom-line : Treasure the one who loves you, it's not easy to find a person who loves you. It's always more valuable to have a sincere heart.



If someone comes into your life and become a part of you but for some reasons he couldn't stay, don't cry too much... Just be glad that your paths crossed and, somehow he made you happy even for a while.

Bottom-line : Time will tell. If he's yours he will surely come back.



The greatest regrets in our lives are the risks we did not take.
If you think something will make you happy, GO FOR IT. Remember that we pass this way only once.

Bottom-line : Time doesn't wait.
If you think you might have found the right one,
treasure the person, don't let that person get away.
Don't let fear hold you back. Give it a try else you might regret later... "No one other than ourselves know what can truly make us happy"



Two tear drops were floating down the river.
One teardrop said to the other, "I'm the teardrop of a girl who loved a man and lost him. Who are you?" "I'm the teardrop of the man who regrets letting a girl go..."

Bottom-line : Nobody will sympathize with a person who constantly lets chances pass by without making any efforts to
salvage them. We normally don't realize how
important our loved and close ones are until
they leave us, and then we start regretting,
which results in misery. Lost time
is NEVER gained again.



*Even Impossible says. .I-M-Possible!*

*.tags. n .hugs.*
*.tags. n .hugs.*leave me sum tag msg n give me sum hugs oki? thanks. . give me hugs by clicking on the link to the left of my blog. =) greatz. thankies. muaks frens. miss ya.

Tata Young - I Think Of You
Tata Young - I Think Of You
When I'm down and all alone[ i felt so cheated]
When nothing seems to matter[ cheated out of my feelings]
When I lose my hope[ "the cruelest thing a guy can do]
When I'm sad and confused[ to a girl is to let her]

When it all gets turned around and 'round[ fall in love]
I can't seem to reach for solid ground[ when he doesn't]
When everything I've believed in seems untrue[ intend to]
All I have to do[ catch her fall"]

Is think of you[ i felt like a dumb.]
I think of you and it's gone[ being kept in the dark.]
Like you chase away the storm[ i feel a failure.]
Making it all okay[ a love puppet.]
I think of you[ it still hasn't sunk in yet]
I think of you and I'm strong[ im not sure i want it to hit me fully]
And I know I can go on[ bcos i noe when it does]
It's like you set me free[ i'll feel pain like nothing]
When life gets the best of me[ how on earth. .]
I just think of you[ could u treat me like tis.]

Now I know what love means[ im not going to blive anymore]
And whatever life may hold for me[ u made me lose]
Through the fire[ my last bit of confidence. .]
Through the rain I believe[ my last bit of faith.]

Cause there's nothing I can't bear[ nv did i noe]
Knowing that you will be there[ dat my fren noe me so little]
If I fall I won't break[ hais. .i feel terrible deep down. .]
Through it all I'll make it through[ de memories seem]
Cause all I have to do[ to be imprinted in my mind.]

Is think of you[ carved in my heart. .wat de hell. .]
I think of you and it's gone[ i cant blive it.]
Like you chase away the storm[ i got cheated.]
Making it all okay[ i felt so cheated.]
I think of you[ wat a jerk. .]
I think of you and I'm strong[ im afraid.]
And I know I can go on[ afraid to love]
It's like you set me free[ afraid to love so fast]
When life gets the best of me[ bcos everytime i fall in love]
I just think of you[ it never seems to last.]

And when I think I'm all alone[ have to set my mind]
I can't see the way to go[ to think positively. .]
Lost in the rain of my own tears[ "some of us thinks]
To wash away the pain and fear[ holding on makes us strong]

I think of you[ but sometimes it is letting go"]
I think of you and it's gone[ yeps. thumbs up to dat quote.]
Like you chase away the storm[ "it's hard to tell]
Making it all okay[ ur mind to stop loving someone]
I think of you[ if your heart still does"]
I think of you and I'm strong[ reali?. .hais]
And I know I can go on[ shucks. =x i detest him]
It's like you set me free[ detest tis dreaded feeling]
When life gets the best of me[ i wish i could]
I just think of you[ wish i could push him out of my mind]

For the good times and the bad times[ it's hurting]
I just think of you[ if i can i will give him a tight slap]
Cause you know you get the best of me[ jus afraid. .]
I just think of you [ dat when i see him. i might lose all courage. lose all strength. freak it. i cant reali be dat guilible or softhearted. .hais.]

fatigue
fatigue
been so tired these days. .tired out frm the 3 continuous days of toning at my grandpa funeral. din go sch on fri. as thur nite funeral ceremony ended late into de nite. reached home abt 3 plus. .bath n all. den slp a little n den went bak funeral der.it was been a family gathering those days. .cos all de cousins seldom meet with each other. n bcos of tis funeral our bonds were greater. it was quite a tink to rejoice n which is wat dat kept my spirits high amidst de sadness i felt. hais. .on fri nite me n cousins stayed overnite der. we reali had nth much to do so we played majong while watching over the incense. making sure it doesn't burn out. we played for quite a while b4 we got sick of de game. den we decided to play badminton. went to de court n play. had a few matches. it was fun. but den suddenly a crazy guy dressed in a cowboy suit with long greasy hair came running towards us. we din get much a fright thou. instead de scene amused us so much dat we were convulsed in laughter. dat guy stood in de middle of de court. dancing away. performing taiji-like actions. it was an amusing n hilarious sight. we jus luff on n on. den my cousin spoke out. asking wat he doing. .den de guy claimed dat he was de ang mo kio cowboy. dat comment received much laughter too. he even say dat play badminton must shake here n der. n watsoeva. beli lame lo. den he say he was drinking. but he wasn't drunk. n he say he was driving when he saw us. so he stopped his car n approached us. we den turn towards the direction he's pointing n saw a car der. n blive his words. den he took out a namecard in which my cousin approached n saw it was a seafood restaurant namecard where de actualy name was cancelled n replaced by a handwritten "cowboy". so funny lo. it's reali entertaining initially. but as my cousins shouted at him to move away n he din. we got quite irritated. he was like in our way as we were playing our games. bth. stubborn old man. he jus keep showing off his taiji movements. den i tot if we jus carried on with our game he might jus leave us alone. . but he stood in de middle of de court. den i dun care n started to serve de ball. but his actions irks me so much dat i jus shout out suddenly amidst our game. my cousins were startled by my sudden outburst. guess they nv see me in such a state b4. i told de guy to siam. but he din even budge. so i jus continue to shout at him. n my cousins too. .den one of my cousin ran out to de road to chase tis police car dat happen to pass by. .soon de mad guy ran off. n my cousin returned. moments later de polive came n asked us to stop playing as it was like abt 4 plus in de early morning. n told us dat de guy we met was mad. so my cousin was like pissed off by the police. n told dem dat they should keep de guy in an institute as he was a public danger. who noes wat he might do to others. lucky we were in a big group. de police were sort of quite irresponsible. .den later i realised datde car dat we saw earlier n had tot it belonged to de cowboy was actually another guy's car. so de mad guy had bluff us. .dat cowboy guy is so irritating. luckily he din disturb de funeral. otherwise i guess he will have surely suffer a few bruises or so. we den sat down to chat. n tok abt dat cowboy. haas. pretty amusing. edwina brought his bf. pretty brave of her to do dat. as her parents din noe. n it was like their relationship was quite obvious. but a gud tink dat none of my relatives noe it. as they were all engaged in their game of majong. n they leave us kids aside. she's de same age as me n had a bf of 21 yrs i tink. pretty shock when i noe. =x.
de nxt day was even more boring. no cowboy to entertain us. but there was a lot of ceremonies. sumtimes i even doze off amidst de ceremonies. so so tired lo. canot tahan. sat nite me n my cousins stayed overnite too. dat day had several ceremonies too. pretty tiring thou. den der's tis big gang of ppl. mostly old man in their late 50s to 70s ba. n several young bengs n lians. it was like so many ppl lo. den wilson ask me to watch later. so i watched. there were frm a gang. dat my 1st n 2nd uncle noe n join in b4. i tink la. according to my dad. but not reali sure abt it. but den dat big gang queued up n walked to de front of de funeral to pay respects. they bowed 3 times. thou most of dem weren't sincere when bowing. but at least they gave their support by cuming. my dad say de. but wilson n ginny ain't reali happy abt it. wilson sumore seem rather fierce.worst tink is. the ppl carrying de coffin will be dem lo. .=x piangz. dat's one tink i quite bu shuang. hais. asked a few frens if they wan cum. but none came. a couple or more said she wan cum but in the end canot or nv..den benny actualy wan cum on sat nite. to pei me. but in de end yq canot. den nv cum le. so boring. hais. actually not reali bored. jus dat. .=x
forget abt it. anyway thanks benny. i noe ya actually wan so much to cum. thanks anyway. reali glad to hear u've been studying. must jiayou k benny. study hard ba. jingjie u oso wor. cheerios. sze. jiayou i will support u all de way. study hard. dun get so gloomy le. n hmm. hope - study hard. heard frm benny u r studying. jiayou ba. =) luck to u all. i nidda learn to take tinks easy. hais. dun wan dat to affect any other tinks.
den ytd was sunday. my grandpa chu bin. de atmoshpere was rather saddening. everyone wasn't in de rite mood to chit chat n all. i went in a few time to take a few last look at my grandpa. tears jus rolled. many other cried too. everyone was jus so emotional.de feeling of losing a kin. .hais. de ceremony started. it took beli long. soon. de coffin was carried away. we walked onto de roads barefooted wearing only a pair of socks. it was rather painful n i stepped onto sumtink sharp. n my foot hurts a lot. but gonna tolerate. den got these few bengs up in front. they seems to be here jus for de fun. as in enjoying de drinks n food n all. piangz. bth. n there were 6 weak guys carrying de coffin. they reali weak lo. cant carry like dat. even had to put towels on their shoulders to ease de pain. moreover they dun walk in a straight line. kept jerking de coffin n walking slantly. weaklings. shouldn't have dem carrying ma. we walked till we reached de mac den we took de chartered bus to guangming shan. we settled down n knelt down. awaiting for de monks to chant. de chanting ceremony was over. de metal door slide open. revealing de big fire in it. everyone burst into tears. it was heart breaking as de coffin was pushed in gradually. we shouted. we screamed. . .cant take it. it was reali so upsetting. imagine de grieve n all. everyone of us felt. hais. we went thru de last ceremony n left dat place. we sat in de buses. de entire bus was so quiet. there was absolute silence. but there's tis 2 old man sitting jus behind me. who kept on toking n luffing n al. it was reali irritating. i have de urge to turn bak to give them a thrashing. but there was no strength in me. no. not anymore. we got down de bus. it was raining. my cousins we all gathered. n we tok abt dat 2 irritating guys. they too. felt de same as me. soon we left each other heading for home. hais. we all felt de same actually. we were all unsure of when will be de next gathering. it will surely be a long time after. wonder if we can still meet up during chinese new yr next yr since both my grandparents had passed away. hais. will we still meet? i hope so. during tis period of time it has been hard on xiao di(edmund), ar bu(vincent) n ar tian(wilson). cos they have to take care of my 2 nauti brothers during all ceremonies. n it was reali difficult. as they kept crying n throwing tantrums. so sorii for de problems caused. they were vexed. can see lo. but reali sorii. n thanks so much for putting up with it. ur de greatest n nicest cousins i have. =) smiles. till we see again.
today was almost late for sch. but i ran away frm it. along with jade n wilson. had maths mock exam later in de noon. it was a disaster. reali disappointing. damn woriied abt it. hais. has been hallucinating de whole day. tried to pick up a pencil dat was not der. drew a line above my ruler. aiya. jus so weird. guess i had not enuff slp. der goes my emaths mock exam. hais. wish i din cum sch today. so i could jus have taken a retest. i jus hope i wun do dat badly. .=x

M2M - The Feeling Is Gone
M2M - The Feeling Is Gone
Listen to me as I explain the situation[ u were the one]
Its not like I wanna destroy his reputation[ the one who had]
We're still together[ who had brought me]
But we are not moving on[ into tis situation]

When we first met it was the perfect combination[ . . .]
Now when I look at him it fills me with frustration[ you]
What is a girl to do when she is not having fun[ are. . .]

How can I tell him I have to try[ making me all so. .]
There is no easy way of saying goodbye[ confused.]
(No no)[ dun barge into my life.]
How do I break it[ there's no more place left for u.]
(How do I break that)[ u made use of me.]
Its just no good[ made use of my soft spot]
My heart is telling me that I really should[ to ur advantage.]
(My heart is telling I really should)[ i dun like u]
I must be subtle[ no. i hope so. not anymore.]
(I must be subtle)[ the feeling maybe all gone.]
I must be strong[ hais. u walked into my life]
The feeling is gone[ but u left so silently]

I think we're going in the opposite direction[ dat u. .]
No longer think that we are making a connection[ din]
I am so unhappy[ even stop to look bak]
I'd rather be alone[ upon the shattering sound]

In the beginning it was one special occasion[ i felt as if. .]
Now when I talk to him his mind is on vacation[ i had been]
And it's too late for me[ -toyed with-]
I'm already on my own[ dun wish to harp on such tots.]

How can I tell him I have to try[ it will jus make me]
There is no easy way of saying goodbye[ tink more.]
(No no)[ miss more.]
How do I break it[ treasure the memories more.]
(How do I break that)[ i dun have any hatred.]
Its just no good[ thou i wish i have.]
My heart is telling me that I really should[ it might jus]
(My heart is telling I really should)[ make me feel better.]
I must be subtle[ i wish you were a better person]
(I must be subtle)[ sumone dat isn't fickle-minded]
I must be strong[ de behaviour jus turns me off.]
The feeling is gone[ ur seem so alike.]

I want it over all said and done[ in sum terms]
How can I tell him that he isn't the one[ i cant say much]
The feeling for you is gone[ i have nth much to say either]

How can I tell him I have to try[ i jus hope]
There is no easy way of saying goodbye[ the feeling]
(No no)[ will pass on.]
How do I break it[ memories wil leave me]
(How do I break that)[ as time passes on]
Its just no good[ realised dat tis way of confiding]
My heart is telling me that I really should[ to my diary]
(My heart is telling I really should)[ do reali]
I must be subtle[ makes me feel better]
(I must be subtle)[ i dunoe how to express my tots.]
I must be strong[ so i jus put it in simple words]
(I must be strong)[ n summarise into the lines of lyrics]
The feeling is gone[ i wun noe who will be able to read these]
(I'm telling you the feeling is gone)[ but dun qns me abt it]

I want it over all said and done[ has been a disappointment]
(I want it over all said and done)[ but i dun regret it]
How can I tell him that he isn't the one[ at least i learn]
(How can I tell him that he isn't the one)[ learn sum tinks]
I must be subtle[ dat others may not experience]
(I must be subtle)[ thru my tears, problems n troubles]
I must be strong[ ur taught me how to be strong]
(I must be strong)[ i tink of u. often too much.]
The feeling is gone[ i realised dat. .i nid lots of]
(I'm telling you the feeling is gone) [ reassurance, care n concern.]