fCUk oFf ::: get out of my life..
fCUk oFf ::: get out of my life..
fcuk. i hate u all. ive always hated ur so much!!! when was the last time u ever spare a tot for me. to even tot of me abt sumtink. or even had a nice chat with me. or even bothered abt me. all u cared abt is wealth, results RESULTS.. do all that jus revolve round ur life only.. it saddens me. reali reali saddens me.
u r so damn self-centered. u tot u are always rite, always so high-n-mighty over-riding on all of us. wth. have u ever for a moment put urself in my shoes, spare a tot or me, tink for me. maybe for once. jus once i cld be rite abt it.
wat the hell are results. jus a piece of junk indicating the number of As scored? or jus a piece of paper u can bring around to boast about. fcuk. so wat i hadnt scored well for my studies. wat's de big deal. who says ppl without As are useless. suxs. ure a bigheaded freak. i hate u. y must u bring me to tis world to be with u.
dat slap u gave me. im gonna rmb it. its gonna be marked in my soul. how i wish i cld return u dat tight slap, dat ugly red streak across my face. u better thank ur lucky stars dat me, ur daughter. yes. UR DAUGHTER has at least the basic respect for u.
uve nv treated me as the eldest. im not the most useless kkie. so wat if mei is in st nich. is xinmin dat bad? NO! fcuking no! i hated u being my mum. i hated u being my dad.i hated u being part of my family. spoiling almost every single day of my life. i hate quarelling. i hate fights. esp with u all. cos i noe i'll give in. no mater wat. u jus wan to win.
almost everyone. bah. EVERYONE who are almost strangers to us tot mei is elder than me. Y? great qns. the way u always pass responsibilities to her, they way u treat her n many many more. ppl often say the eldest child is always the most doted child. HELL NO! ..i dun shirk responsibilities n i can do so much more tinks many many thousand times better than mei. in terms of responsibility, im definitely much better than her! im sure. but why. jus why... i hate it. wateva tinks ive always wanted, in the end u'll jus buy for mei.
im often scolded for tinks not done by me. jus why... when mei do wrong tinks. u dun scold her as harsh as u did to me!!!! dat's so unfair. she took my stuff without permission, moreover my private or precious stuff. all u jus say was utter "dun do it again oki"...fcuk off. u tink dat phrase works? suxs.. it doesn't!! i reali tink i have damn gud tolerance...to be able to withstand till tis day indeed requires my alot of my courage, broken pride, tolerance and so much so much more. im jus so filled with fury. or shld i say hatred.
u can say im jealous. im childish. WADEVER! ive nv tot ive received love frm tis darn family. NV! there's nv been a family event whereby i noe of it beforehand. it's always at the last minute. ALWAYS. im always the last to noe abt every single detail. wadever i do, u're jus not happy abt it. always critising wadever i do.
it's precisely bcos o tis n dat's y i turn to my frens. i hate staying at home! HATE!!! i turn to sjab. cos dat's where i can find care n love frm frens. dat's where i can find a place of my own. my own paradise. even dat u're stopping me! u're almost against everytink dat ive done.
now dat ive started schling. i dun actually wanted to work. but u forced me to. initially i jus wanted for the experience. but rite now. im finding it rather hard to juggle my stuff. n u blamed all dat on sjab n dance.! damn it. dance is my only way whereby i can truely enjoy myself. n u're tarnishing tis dream of mine. i reali hate u. reali reali hate u.
im feeling so agonised. felt lost. so lost. do i reali have nowhere to turn to. i hate it. hate u especially. hateful family..
i dunoe y i cld cry tis hard. dun understand y i can cry tis hard. i felt hurt.. it's hurting to noe dat my family dun love or welcome me. even if they do, i dun. jus leave me alone. i nid sum calming down.

diary..i nid u.