~`♥ love

when you said forever, you meant a few months
when i said forever, i meant everyday till i die

when you said always, you meant until you couldnt handle it anymore
when i said always, i meant until time ended

when you said you love me, you meant i was no different from any other girl
when i said i love you, i meant i had never felt what i felt for you

~`♥ jan

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~`♥ de past memories

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Tuesday, July 26, 2005

wth lo. my comp kana reformat again. n all my info are gone!! gONE! my project work, songs, sjab stuff, photos, music, videos!!!!! goodness me. freak it!!! damn comp sia.! =Xxx
jus so damn sad.
hais. wadeva.
im reali sadden by it lo.
darn comp!
went for travgeog project field trip today.
got to noe sumtink bad.
well. im jus so sadden by that.
yet again.
i felt so cooped up. felt so stressed up
with nowhere to relieve. nowhere to release.
hais
:::
it's been long since i cried.
but i din cry today k.
i teared instead.
but i felt a teeny bit better.
i wan to cry.felt so much like crying
i wish to get rid of dat stuffy feeling in me.
a feeling dat seemed to engulf my whole inner self.
i feel..
feel so not myself at all.
esp when im alone.
im lonely.
totally lost.
lost in sumwhere.
where i cldn't find anyone to be with me.
i guess i need
needed sum love.
sum care.
sum concern.
meanwhile. i needed to be alone too
im going bonkers soon.

jus dunoe wat i wan.
alrite. i noe wat i wan.
i wish i can cry now.
right at tis moment
but...

why dun i seem to cry at the appropriate time.!!
fine. maybe it's better tis way.
---
anyway. ive been nice my dear.
dear dear diary.
i din completely shut myself out.
im irked.
irritated.
pissed.
ya. wadeva.
nvm. i'll be nice still.
but im aleli out of my wits.
gasps. i'll be nice still den.
:::

diary. nites out.
thanks for being der when i needed u most.

~ { 12:33 AM }
reflections of you and me;