felt so uneasy the moment i wake up.
well.
no msg. no missed calls.
guess he's angry.
angry cos of?
i dunoe wad either.
perhaps cos i sounded a little annoyed ytd bcos of his pessimism.
but. wadever.
the fact seems to show he's angry.
called him 3 times.
din pick up.
neither did he return the calls.
alrite tis is the 2nd time.
2nd time i felt so out of his life.
2nd time he simply refused to pick up my calls.
2nd time he wanted to ignore me.
... ....
wad cld i do.
was it my fault initially?
i jus dun seem to like the pessimistic tots he often has in his mind.
no matter how much i say.
those disturbing tots seem to stay stuck in his brain.
do i give dat much of insecurity?
do i make him feel dat way?
but it does make me feel insecure.
as if those tots of his cld realli happen a day.
it makes me feel so damn insecure
dat i feel like being left alone to chase those tots of mine away.
i felt so silly.
cld be smiling to myself a moment.
n crying in the next moment.
---
i want to clear those puny sad tots from ur mind.
wanted to cheer u up.
wanted u to stay happy.
wanted...
wanted so much for u not to neglect me.
chat with me.
wanted so much for u to pick up my call.
wanted so much for u to return me a call.
---
oki. perhaps u're sleeping.
perhaps u're busy toking to parents u forgot abt me.
perhaps u're toking to either malcolm or ahdi or even sum other frens n u forgot abt me.
perhaps u're bathing.
so much perhaps.
jus hope one of the perhaps cld be true enuff.
it'll perhaps lessen my worries..
i guess.