how did tinks get so wrong within jus one nite.
why do tinks always turn out so wrong.
i tried to give in le.
n now.
wads all the crap abt give n take in a relationship.

is it my fault? or his?
shi wo tai ren xing ma.
or am i too naive.

im so sick n tired of all the blatant apologies.
which doesn't mean anytink at all.
again n again.
the same tink repeat.
wad for apologise den.

y is ur patience span so short.
while mine too den.
u had ur temper.
i had mine too.

nv for the past 3 plus months.
did i have that hateful thought.
the hateful, detestable thought.
the thought of breaking up.

wld dat be better for both of us.
i dun wan hear the ans.
cos i dun wan to.
i felt so desperate.
desperate for some console.
some comforting.

can someone help me pls.

im tearing apart.
the pain.
the sadness.
i cldnt bear it anymore.

i wish to leave.
leave tis place.
leave everyone.
get to a lala land.
where it's worry-free.
perhaps dats where i belong to.
the place i'll be.
the place i'll ever be.

urgh.
can sumone burst that horrible black bubble.
prick that hateful thought away.
im not going to tink abt it anymore.
no. no. no.

dats not the way to solve prob jan.
jan no more tears alrite.

no matter how much excuses i tried to find for him.
find for me.
it doesn't make a difference.
my tears jus kept on rolling down.
im sick of crying.
tired of weeping.
4 to 5 full hrs of crying.
im tired.
exhausted.
depressed.

totally depressed.
i nid someone.
someone to walk me out of this blue world.
it was supposed to be u.
but. it seems u walk me deeper into dat blue world.
or do i have to walk it out myself.
alone.

no one to be der for me.
i felt so alone.
lonely n cold chucked in a corner.

sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry.
cld almost hear the words ringing in my mind repeatedly.
wads the use of apologising when nth's being done.


i felt so left out.
felt so unloved.
so uncared.
i want to be adored.
i love to be loved.

perhaps im not understanding enuff in ur eyes.
but amidst my strong self, im weak thou.
u can say bcos i wasnt in any serious relationship b4.
n dat explains y.
yah. wadeva den.
i just now all of a sudden.
i felt i wasnt being missed.
wadeva u say jus makes me feel like ure trying to make me hapie.
u say.
actions speak louder than words.
so where's ur actions.

when i free i come look for u ya?
i realised this sentence sounds rather so familiar.
but i din see u.
i hate to have my hopes being dashed.
i think alot. i dream alot.
if only dreams can come true.

absolutely moodless to study at all.
jus felt so totally upset.
have i ever crossed ur mind?
i wish i was tired.
tired of running thru ur mind.

maybe u had enuf of me.
maybe u r frustrated with me.
maybe u r fed up with me.
maybe u tink i wanted too much.
expected too much.
but when all i wan is a hug n a loving heart?

all i ever nid in the whole wide world is ur hug.
jus ur hug.
havent u ever realised how much wonders a hug can do.
ur hug can heal my wounds.
dissolve my sadness.
ur hug is magical.
havent u realised dat.

its has ever been so easy to please me.
but u seldom did.
perhaps once out of a dozen times.

im useless perhaps.
useless.

felt as if my sense of security is gone.
felt so insecure.
so vulnerable.

i reali did put in alot of effort into tis relationship.
i tried all means to make u hapie.
but it doesnt seem to be much appreciated at times.

often u'll say
dear try to understand me k.
but ever tot of understanding me?
ever tot of how much ur little actions can affect me so much.
causing me to wail n cry.
ever tot of how small actions n words can mean so much to me.
so much as a hug.
so much as a kiss.
u nv realised dat rite.

u nv noe.
how lonely i feel without u ard.
how upseting it is to see u worried abt getting a job.
esp the day u say u got sack cos of a senior staff returning bak to work.
i cry buckets. i was reali upset for u.
how difficult it is for me to cope with the fact dat u no longer.
no longer seems to be ard me every moment.
no longer seems to care for me as much as u does in the past.
no longer seems to say sweet tinks to me as compared to the past.
no longer seems to hug me dat often.

rite now.
with a face stained with heart-breaking tears.
awaiting for an sms.
wad abt u.
awaiting for mine.
why does it always has to be like tis.
i detest tis feeling.

to me.
guys has to take initiative.
but y dun u.
it saddens me to realise the fact dat i cldnt accept.
is an sms dat difficult to send to me.
is a hug dat hard to give me.
how abt a kiss.
dat difficult again?

3 months plus.
n yet such problems have alreadi surfaced.
wad will happen 2 to 3 years down the road.
wad does future have for me in 10 to 20 years time.
i wonder.

the line went dead.
the first time he hung up my phone.
first time.
no doubt my tears rolled.
i cry alot.
i cry tons.
y.
cos i care.
i treasure.
i love you.

reali missed ya so much.
my mind as always full of ur tots.
ur laughter.
ur talks.
ur actions.
ur hugs.
ur kisses.

was hoping so much as to tok to u.
chat with u.
laugh with u.
joke with u.

my hopes seem to have been dashed.
the bubble was burst.
jus a few minutes ago

wondering why we could get into such squabbles dat easily these days.
it wasn't like tis in the past.
it wasn't.
perhaps u had given up.
given up on giving in to me.
sick of giving in to me.

perhaps ure frustrated.
so easily frustrated these days.
i wonder y.
y does ur small actions affect me so much.
y does insignificant words from ur lips could make me cry so much.
y always asked me.
but..
i dunoe y either.
n i dun tink i'll ever noe.
i doubt u will too.

im feeling so sad.
so upset.
so down.
so blue.
so teary.
so..
tis feeling ain't good.

often when dat happens.
i'll always tot dat it wun happen.
always tot dat another situation will occur instead.
always imagine u saying other words instead of the fatal words.
always imagine u doing other actions instead of the fatal actions.
fatal words. fatal actions.
dat made me so not in a mood.

all i need is a hug.
a hug to let me noe ure there.
a hug to make me feel the love within.
a hug to make me feel the warmth.
a hug from my hero.
my hero of love.
my motivation.
my pillar of strength.

my decision is made.
i'll apologise anyway.
since i sorta made u frustrated.