~`♥ love

when you said forever, you meant a few months
when i said forever, i meant everyday till i die

when you said always, you meant until you couldnt handle it anymore
when i said always, i meant until time ended

when you said you love me, you meant i was no different from any other girl
when i said i love you, i meant i had never felt what i felt for you

~`♥ jan

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Sunday, February 12, 2006

the line went dead.
the first time he hung up my phone.
first time.
no doubt my tears rolled.
i cry alot.
i cry tons.
y.
cos i care.
i treasure.
i love you.

reali missed ya so much.
my mind as always full of ur tots.
ur laughter.
ur talks.
ur actions.
ur hugs.
ur kisses.

was hoping so much as to tok to u.
chat with u.
laugh with u.
joke with u.

my hopes seem to have been dashed.
the bubble was burst.
jus a few minutes ago

wondering why we could get into such squabbles dat easily these days.
it wasn't like tis in the past.
it wasn't.
perhaps u had given up.
given up on giving in to me.
sick of giving in to me.

perhaps ure frustrated.
so easily frustrated these days.
i wonder y.
y does ur small actions affect me so much.
y does insignificant words from ur lips could make me cry so much.
y always asked me.
but..
i dunoe y either.
n i dun tink i'll ever noe.
i doubt u will too.

im feeling so sad.
so upset.
so down.
so blue.
so teary.
so..
tis feeling ain't good.

often when dat happens.
i'll always tot dat it wun happen.
always tot dat another situation will occur instead.
always imagine u saying other words instead of the fatal words.
always imagine u doing other actions instead of the fatal actions.
fatal words. fatal actions.
dat made me so not in a mood.

all i need is a hug.
a hug to let me noe ure there.
a hug to make me feel the love within.
a hug to make me feel the warmth.
a hug from my hero.
my hero of love.
my motivation.
my pillar of strength.

my decision is made.
i'll apologise anyway.
since i sorta made u frustrated.

~ { 9:36 PM }
reflections of you and me;