suddenly i felt so empty.
as if a strong force has been engulfing me from in within.
causing me to be void of feelings momentarily.
i felt so insecure.
the security i used to have
seems to disappear in a spilt second.
the warmth i used to have around me
seems to have evaporated into thin air.
the love i used to have
doesnt seem to be the same.
no longer the same.
is this a process?
or is it an end?
if it's a process, i hope its a happy ending.

dok. the phone hung.
yet again.
i so much tot u wld tok to me.
so much wan u to tok to me.
anytink.
reali anytink.
jus hearing ur voice assures me.

i am so unlucky.
so damn unlucky.
fuck.
damn irritated as days passed.
lost my hp.
n now my ezlink.
wad again?
had cold wars on n off.
tis is the worst.

but all i wanted to do.
is jus take a long walk
alone.
wishing u'll be ard me.
but i noe its impossible.
cos im bak home now.
n my wishes din come true.
the walk did me some gud
at the least it calmed me down
from the terrible sobs i suffered.

wad abt now.
i dunoe.
i wish sumone cld understand me.
but no one seems to be able to.
no one.
dun even noe how im feeling.

suddenly i wish to run home.
away frm all.
away frm crowd.
jus wanted all the attention i cld get.
how well sum ppl can understand me.

i felt i had a horrid day.
damn horrible.
lost my hp JUST YTD
lost all my contacts
wad the hell.
alot of minor suay stuff
im having my sub paper tml
n now
i had a tiff with him yet AGAIN
i reali dun wan fail my paper.
i dun wan retake my subject
i failed my paper the other bcos i quarrel with him oso.
i dun wish history to repeat
i dunoe y.
am i too sensitive?
or too xiaoqi?
or wad?
problems lies with me?
u?
or both of us?
hais.
im jus so upset
y cant u jus say sumtink.
y dun u dare speak up when im in a bad mood.
or u dunoe im in a bad mood.
i jus lost my hp.
i jus had a tiff with u.
im like
so damn frustrated
but..
u dun seem to understand me
or do i have to be the one
i alreadi give in le
but.
it doesnt seem to work.
y not..
or is it bcos of ur jealousy?
of maple?
wadeva.
im jus utterly disappoitned.
i alreadi tried my best
but y din u try tomake the first move
i dun tink anyone understand wad im feeling now
i felt so lost
so sad
so pointless
so no mood to study
yet again
im online le.
i wish to tell u
im online le.
but y din u come look for me.
cant u jus msn me
say sumtink nice
n everytink's gonna be fine.
yea
u finally msn me
at least my effort pays off
but
u din bother to call me
i absolutely moodless rite now
u reali cant sense my unhappiness?
my sadness?
i jus nid u to pacify me.
but u say u dunoe
i oso dunoe y u dunoe.
wun noe.
nv noe.